Okay, so I will admit it. I really suck at this blogging thing. I was never the kind of girl who had a journal. It only has become a recent thing for me to sit and journal my thoughts. I feel like I need to owe you an apology for not keeping you updated as frequent as I should. Life is a different busy here. I find that I have less time to sit and reflect in quietness. We have started our homeschooling with the children, and the better part of the morning I spend bouncing from grade 1 to 3 to 5. Our little kitchen is decorated with all sorts of bright coloured posters of multiplication charts, spelling lists and spanish words.

We are slowly adjusting to a new routine and culture. We have had a lot of rain this past week, but are fortunate to avoid any major flooding. The Guatemalan government issued a state of emergency for Guatemala due to the heavy rains causing floods and mudslides. School was cancelled across the nation for two days. I guess we would call it a snow day back home. As I sit inside my dry warm home, I can't help but think of all those families in the mountains that don't have proper shelter. Even though we lose our electricity and water at different times of the day, I am thankful every time my lights and taps work. As I was working through my bible study, God reminded me to distinguish between the things that are fleeting in this life and the things that will last into eternity. I am so thankful for each new day and the people I meet.

I really struggled the first couple weeks of being here and just felt lost. I was even somewhat frustrated with God. I know He called us here, but somehow didn't feel His presence. Again through my bible study God revealed some more. I feel like I am trapped in a “war of the wills”. I want to be used but only on my terms and conditions. I am reminded of the verse,... "in order to gain your life, you must lose it." God has really impressed this on my heart over the last few weeks, as I have been processing this leap into the unknown. I never really truly grasped this idea until now. God isn't asking me to forget everyone at home and the things I love to do, rather He is waiting patiently for me to let go and release it all to Him so that I can be used to the fullest to glorify Him. It's really about stepping out of my comfort zone so much so that I totally and completely depend on Him. God didn't ever say it would be easy. Yes, I was very comfortable back home, loving life and happy. It's in the dark when we grow. I think of a plant and the roots that go down way deep. Think of all the growth that happens in the earth. The foundation for something beautiful to grow out of.

As I ponder about beauty and growth, I can't help but think of the girls at Casa Hogar. Each one with their own story. Stories with so much brokenness and hurt, yet rising above and developing into His precious children. Today, I had the privilege of cutting hair for some of the girls. One in particular is Blanca.  She is 5 years old and was eager to have her hair cut. She sat so still and patient. No game or TV to distract her attention. Just a little girl who craved a loving touch and wanted to feel special, and look like a princess. And that made my day!