Tuesday, October 27, 2015



The dark night closed in.  My body ached with every twist and turn to find comfort.  The intense aroma of my essential oils spilled out of my diffuser throughout my room, but I didn't even notice.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't swallow, I couldn't move and now I couldn't sleep.  After all, this was day three in bed.  I noticed the emptiness beside me.  Usually the sound of the rise and fall of his chest is comforting, the warmth from his body close.  Only cold sheets, as I stretched my foot across the bed.  It was 1:30 am and I crept down the stair case.  A warm glow came from beneath the office door and I knew this was a late night project for him.  A project, a short commercial if you will, a promotional tool for an upcoming  'Orphan Sunday'.  The very thought of this was never God's design.  Why should children be abandoned, neglected and abused?  And over and over my mantra remains, ' God break my heart for that which breaks yours'.

Our journey of fostering has taught me more of the character of Christ.  To love unconditionally, to walk along side and invest in relationship even if it means I am at risk of being lied too and disrespected.  To give a out of a place with a return of no expectations.  To love and and not be loved at times.  Where did we go wrong?   We sat many times explaining the importance of a marriage, a Godly man that would love and respect the way Jesus intends.  An adult trapped in a child's body, our oldest of the four sisters is pregnant.  All eyes would be looking to see how we would handle this.  A life of abuse and orphan care,  transitioned into a family that sets standards and accountability.  That loves no matter what.  Because that is who we are .. family.

 If only she could see it.  Following the exact footsteps of family history.  The sin that entangles and chokes out anything that is pure.  Generation after generation. Proverbs 26:11 says ' As a dog returns to it's vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness'  I can't tell you how many times I have returned to the sin that so easily entangles, but there is hope, and there is freedom, when we have it in Jesus.  He can break any stronghold and set any captive free.

I have learned that blood is thicker than water and the return to biological mom was what she wanted.  And we stay true to our word, and our love.  Just like the father received his son after he left for some time, God is always ready and waiting to embrace us when we are ready.  And we keep allowing our faith to be stretched and our hearts hurt.  Because He is love and we love him.

We stand in need of prayer and wisdom.  Join us, would you?


Thursday, October 22, 2015

Finding Peace

Good looking bunch of guys ready to be stretched by God.
Yesterday I went out with a group from Langley, BC to drop off food baskets to widows and the elderly who cannot provide enough sustenance for themselves and their families.  We drove through the streets of Monjas searching for adobe huts and corrugated steel shanties mixed amongst new building developments.  The contrast of those who have and those who don't couldn't be more apparent.

We crouched into a home that was only tall enough for the people inside.  Others were ample in interior space but were as dark as night inside with a veil of smoke lingering in the air due to a lack of windows and ventilation.  The only light that entered inside was the opening of the rickety door or a single light bulb shining through a sooty cob webbed film in the centre of the room.  Where the light managed to touch these people's home, unveiled a hard life where scavenging and improvised use of materials is a necessity to survive.  Our group of Canadians entered each place in a sober manner.  All of us stood quiet listening to the translator but I'm not sure how much was being absorbed. It wasn't that we were exhausted or insensitive, but we couldn't help but feel the burden being put on our shoulders like a lead apron as we entered these places. Thoughts race through my mind like: 'How is this possible?' 'TV telethons have not done this justice.' 'God where is the church supporting these people?' 'I have been abundantly blessed.' 'I feel dirty being here.' 'How do these people stay safe?'

One house in particular stood out for me from the rest.  As we pulled up to the adobe home a tiny elderly woman that looked like she was in her 90s but was actually in her 70s gave us a weathered leathery grin and held out her droopy wrinkled arms to embrace our leader.  After we huddled into her home, she positioned us in front of her 50 year old daughter's bed.  While we stood there the sheets began to rustle and her daughter began to emerge from below.  To our shock her daughter was half naked and exposed to all of us in the room.  With a complete disregard to our presence, the exposed daughter tugged at the bottom of her mom's apron.  Feelings of discomfort were easily seen on the faces across the room as the mother in a loving frustration grabbed a shirt and dressed her naked adult child.  We now had learned that her daughter was born with a severe mental disability and would never achieve independence from the home.  Upon turning around from dressing her girl she thanked us for bringing food and supplies because it is hard to make a living when she is constantly taking care of her daughter.  She continued on to say that she wanted God to take her child from her before she dies.  The thought of her dying before her daughter is too painful to bare knowing that there isn't anyone to take care of her precious daughter.

Just an example of what conditions people live in while being
surrounded by new housing development.
I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but I was mad, frustrated, and crushed.  This woman's biggest prayer request was to have peace through the painful loss of a child.  If anyone deserved to have peace it was this woman and the sacrificial hell that she has lived to make ends meet for her and her daughter for fifty plus years.  But that was what crushed me, she deserved a better life.  She could have walked away from the responsibility of her daughter and received no consequence in this corrupt nation, but she didn't because she dutifully served her daughter out of her reverence to God and His provision.  I truly believe that she knows we are not worthy of God's grace and that she is thankful to her Creator which is why she still found joy even in her circumstance.  The idea of deserving something probably doesn't exist for her as she seeks contentment in the little she does have.

We prayed for her and left her home keeping the weight of the burden as to what we saw.  The group from Canada was obviously shaken up.  Pausing outside of the door I teared up and became laboured in my breathing.  I had only shared about 10 minutes of my life with this woman but I was in turmoil from seeing the broken pieces of her life and the glory from God she was reflecting.  At times I stress over all sorts of tiny things, and here was this woman praising God for His abundant provision.  To be honest, I actually held a sort of envy for what this woman had.  She received something that many of us probably never will get to know, which is a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6,7).

It is hard walking away from situations like that and not feeling defeated.  I have no doubt that everyone in our group wanted to fix her problem, but the reality is we already have been given our due share to manage and our best was to love, pray and offer a bit of aid in a moment of obvious need.  The act of compassion gives us the opportunity to be in communion with their pain and respond in a way to support their misfortunes. What my family and I experience and see on a day to day basis is something we want to share with others.  To have the opportunity to gain a different perspective where people can find peace in dire circumstance is life changing.  To be compassionate to people struggling to survive and seeing them find the peace that God provides is truly one of the most humbling experiences a person can go through.  My hope for all of you is to experience and see God's peace and light in those dark places.

Peace,

Matt

Monday, October 12, 2015

The Unpleasant Blessing of Understanding Christ

For those who follow our blog and journey within missions in Jalapa, know that there have been many trials.  I wouldn't deny the fact that we have been under spiritual attack since we started in November 2013.  Wave upon wave of attacks.  We have endured crushing blows that feel unbearable.   Although feeling at times like we were cast in a pit of despair   we have managed to climb out and learned how to take blows and press forward in the name of Jesus. 

Through each attack we have learned to lean on Christ and His community.  When times are tough we turn to people to pray for us and gain a better understanding of how to live through it.   Coming to God in utter dependency during these times has taught us humility that we can't always fix problems (not temptations - those we can handle) but that we need to leave that to Him. 

Satan really does have an impressive arsenal in which he lays his attacks.  He can twist people's perceptions so they can be the weapon for his war.  The damage that is doled out is so diabolical that not only does it hurt the victim but the attacker as well.  Furthermore, the damage dealt can transform the victim to be the attacker and for the attacker to become a bigger and better weapon to inflict more pain.  Like a virus, sin grows and infects its host.  Those who want to be a beacon for God's kingdom are a prime target.

Here in Guatemala we see the sin of 'survive at all cost'.  Many people here live difficult lives and really struggle to get by.  Theft of food, money, things, and even people to be trafficked or enslaved occur so a family can have enough resources to 'live a better life'.  Even when aid is given it isn't enough and they wait and demand for more.  Investing in some people here can be difficult because they have let this entitled attitude to fester in their soul.  These takers become frustrated when you don't dole out cash or food, because advice (spiritual, personal, relational or financial) carries little value.  Sometimes I feel that the expression, 'You can feed a man to fish and he will eat for a day, but if you teach him to fish he will eat for a lifetime.' should have included 'However some people just want to be fed and could care less to have a net or pole because there is plenty of fish in the sea and there are others willing to fish.' 
 
This is our latest battle that we are experiencing in the transition program.  It may be hard to believe that kids rescued from bad situations and raised in loving support would turn on those who helped them.  Unfortunately it is a common story and one that hurts a lot.  Through our past pains I have learned not to worry about it but to give it to God (Matthew 6: 25-34 - Thanks pastor Steve).  To find the blessing in the struggle is become more like Christ.  We can recognize the pain is of this world and its problems but the goodness of God's provision and strength is what gets us to our end game in glory.  Even though my hair is getting whiter by the second, my body is falling into fatigue, and my hands tremble from the stress of life, I can appreciate the thorn that is in my side (2 Corinthians 12: 5-10) because it forces me to be dependent on Him to fight the infection of sin.