funerals, graduations and baptisms

It's the unexpected call that comes from a loved one.  The one that stops you in your tracks, grief stricken, tear streaked face hanging low.  This is the second grandma my husband has lost in the last year.  It's no surprise, as age weathers a body and health fails over and over.  My immediate gut feeling..fly home husband, go be near family, bury your loved grandma and celebrate her life.  He hung his head and said no... not now.
His strength I admire, his fight is strong and his heart pure.  He laid awake all night the night before the news with other news of Lily.  Praying for wisdom and strength as the fight to adopt comes near an end.  The unexpected, the unknown all laying in His hands.  When God closes a door, somewhere there is a window.  And we keep walking the road ahead.


With all the stresses we faced last week, there was much reason to celebrate.  We had the honour of attending Irma's graduation ceremony.  My heart hurt when I quickly  learned her parents didn't even show up to support this accomplishment.  I know Irma struggled her way through but has now completed her high school diploma.  An accomplishment made by only 10%-20% of this country.  And not one of her family members came.  We had the privilege of walking the stage to honour her with a bouquet of flowers and a photo to remember the moment.  I didn't feel right being the one to walk that stage.  Without the financial support of two very kind people back in Canada, she wouldn't receive this diploma.  And to them, I say thank you.  Thank you for living beyond yourself and investing in the opportunity for a 21 yr old to gain her basic high school diploma.  Her accomplishment has improved her self confidence in a world where women aren't valued.  With this under her belt, she plans to work and potentially continue on studying further in business.

There are so many things we get to experience living here.  Some amazing, some just plain old tough.   Some days I experience a sense of loss, but God quickly reminds me of the many blessings He has for all of us if we just acknowledge Him. Whether its a beautiful sunrise, smile on the face of one of our kids from the project, my son telling me he loves me, or God gently stirring my heart in the early hours of a morning with a scripture.  He calls all things into being.  The earth is full of His glory.....even the rocks would cry out if we weren't made to worship our King.  He is full of mystery yet is relatable.  I thank Jesus for gracing the dust of this earth.   He understands our hearts because He suffered.  When we follow Him we step into His suffering and all of a sudden the bible stories aren't just images of animals and people on Sunday school felt boards.  They are relatable.   It's the place where real relationship grows.  God in me and I in Him.

I am not there, but  I celebrate the life change that is happening in one my dear friends' son. He made a choice to step out of comfort and seek his own path.  He choose to attend youth group, and just recently was baptized.  He still struggles.  Of course!  Just because we are baptized into new life with Him, doesn't  make us immune to sin and trials.  In fact it is to be expected.  When we choose to walk with God, the road is narrow.  It is the beginning to a beautiful story with a God full of love, compassion and grace.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."   Matthew 28:19

It was never intended to be this way.

I studied biology in university and learned of how we have natural cycles of various sizes.  One example is oxygen and glucose entering the cell and activating a cyclical chemical reaction that produces carbon dioxide, which in turn is taken by plants to produce glucose and oxygen.  Or, how we consume food and eliminate the remainder which in turn returns to the earth to bring nutrient once again to grow more food.  These are just two of a slue of other natural cycles that exist, but they show how our understanding of life is: be what you are-> change into something else -> cycle back to the original.

To say that God didn't intend death to occur would be difficult for me to accept because He made so many beautiful systems and cycles to take care of all of what is needed to be recycled.  However, God did set us aside from all of His creation as something unique that could be in eternal relationship with Him.  We were given a special pass from the rest to become supernatural beings with a soul.  My brain rattles a bit around these questions: 'If we were built to live forever, were we even a living biological being or just a spirit in physical form?  Was God in the same form as Adam and Eve when walking in the Garden of the Eden?  Did this change once sin came in the world and we anchored our soul to a now mortal physical form?  Am I just a little nuts and only ponder about this after gluing my kids project together?'

Regardless of all of these thoughts, it is important to realize that we were made different and do live for eternity in a spiritual realm.  It is also important to note that sin separated us from God and that to have eternal life with Him only comes when we accept Him as our saviour and Lord over our lives.  Our experience with death is complicated.  As Christians we admit to an afterlife but do we believe in it?  And if you do believe in it,  how might you live differently knowing that this here is the short run?  Why is it so painful to experience the death of a loved one when you know they are in eternal paradise?

Shortly after the death of my Grandma Wilson we attended
a funeral of my friend's grandmother.  It was a good time to
mourn both their deaths as I wept in the graveyard of Jalapa
with the multitude of others that were equally pained with
the result that sin produces.

Personally I have experienced the death of both of my grandmothers while working here in Guatemala.  On both occasions I was relieved to know that my grandmothers were right with Christ and that they are blessed to be living an amazing life in glory.  However, this never lifted the burden of my sorrow that they are now separated from me.  Maybe I'm selfish, but I loved having my grandmothers here, learning about our family origins, and bonding with someone that really cared for me and my interests too.  I know I'm not unique with this feeling.  Even Jesus Himself cried in anger at the death of His friend.  I remember our pastor in Canada speaking that even though Jesus had the power to raise the dead He still wept because we were not intended to exist this way.  That when sin entered the world we created a divide between us and God.  Thankfully for Christ He bridged that gap for us and we can be in relationship with Him again.

I urge readers of this blog to seek out a relationship with God and carry out a life with Him.  If you need help in what to do next, please don't hesitate to message Mandy or myself, or contact a local church and get connected.  If hell is the complete separation of us from God, we unfortunately get a small taste of it when someone dies.  I know my grandmothers are in a better place.  I will continue to strive to live for Christ and someday I will get to see my grandparents and other loved ones that continue to follow Christ.  But until then, I am left with the reminder that sin isolates us and breaks up the original intended plan God had for our lives.