I'm a bit of a sucker for romance. You
know that fluttery feeling that you get when you watch a great movie,
or hear a great song. I get that everytime I see my husband.
Whether he is walking into the room or I turn to see him down the
next aisle in a store. He just makes me smile and lightens up my
life. He has taught me so much on love and selflessness and modelled
exceptional leadership skills to our children. As I am writing, he
is finishing strong and faithful at our projects this year.
It is a strange feeling coming back
leaving behind my better half. I feel like I am missing my right arm
some days. Yet despite it all, I can only give our Lord complete and
total glory as He has helped us stumble our way through this year.
It is only through Him that I had the strength to face each day. Over
and over this year I was reminded of the story of Martha and Mary.
Luke chapter ten depicts a beautiful reminder of the value Christ puts
in relationship. As busy as some days were, and as many “projects”
we busied ourselves with, Jesus was calling us to be still and invest
in eternal affairs. Loving on His children and sharing life
together. At the end of it all, when it was time for me to leave,
the girls put on a slide show in recognition of our year. Not one
picture was about “projects”. As the tears streamed my cheeks,
picture after picture captured all the big and small moments of love
and friendship we shared over the year. I wish I could say that it
was easy and that I always had an abundance of love to give. Some
days were tiring and hard. Funny thing when we invest in our
relationship with Christ, He gives us exaclty what we need to pour
into the lives of others. Now it is just being disciplined enough to
put God first. Sounds silly, doesn't it? For those of you who are
christians, it seems obvious. But the distractions and pace of life
dictate our fellowship and God gets our last fruits instead of our
very best and first.
I hit the ground running, coming home
with 3 kids, 2 dogs and a house that is calling out to be unpacked.
I am reminded very quickly of the busyness of our culture in the
short conversations I have had with various people. But I learned
something this year. I learned how to relax, and just be. The Lord
picked up my chin and said look around. Stop. Breathe. Take it all
in. You are missing out by running around being busy. Coming from a
“Martha” attitude, I am learning to be more of a “Mary”.
Watching my husband this past year, has taught me much on this.
We are in a time of transition. A time
of shutting down to start up here in Canada. Matt is going back to
teach at a new location, and I am returning to work. I have been
bombarded with questions, that I guess in some ways I'm not ready
for. I don't have answers.... at all. I cringe inside when people assume that
this is it and we won't go back. That we wrapped up those years in a
box and are just putting them on a shelf. It's not some photo album
that will be put away to collect dust. It has become a part of who
we are. Whether its forever, only God knows but we do know that
missions is something important to our family. Trust me when I say I
am scared to death at times. Wondering what else God has up His
sleeve. Yet I can rest comfortably knowing that when He calls, He
provides. Just the other day I was talking with our oldest son and
asked him what he would like to do someday. He confidently told
me...”mom, I want to be a missionary”. Even if it is God using
this time now to do greater things down the road. Praise God! All I
do know is that this is just the beginning to something much bigger
than Matt or I.
