Friday, October 31, 2014

Lavished Love

Standing boldly in front of the church when asked “ Why missions?” a thirteen year old replies, “if we aren’t going, who will?” There are many proud moments we have as parents.  The goal that’s scored in the game while a quick over the shoulder glance is shot back for approval, the “A” on the math test after all the difficulty, the polite words spoken to the clerk at the grocery store.  But this, by far made my face beam with delight.  With all the “letting go” and the “giving up” we have experienced, God is up to something far more than in just Matt and I. 

People say, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  I definitely knew we had something special and was always grateful but was really reminded of this upon arriving home.  God already knew ahead of time that we needed this.  I felt like I had just walked off a battlefield and had the wounds and scars to prove it.  With all the stress, my skin felt like I was trapped in a teenage body full of acne.  I felt ugly on the inside and out.  How was it even possible to share what we have experienced in the last year.  I felt broken. I felt tired, and defeated.  And it was time to come home for a rest, to allow people to pour into us for a change.  It's hard for me to be on the receiving end of things.  There was an outpouring of messages, coffee dates, gift certificates, surprise cottage retreat, date nights  accompanied by meals shared with friends.   Through all this, I felt so encouraged and loved.  We met with old faces and even some new ones.  It is incredible to see how God works in ALL things.  I received beautiful messages from people I don’t even know who are inspired by what God is doing.  And it is all for His kingdom’s sake. 


handmade items from our transition program
A few weeks ago on a Saturday evening we found ourselves surrounded by such a group.  The presence of our Father is not always  found in a loud auditorium with bright lights and flashy props. On the quiet roads of a rural backdrop of endless fields and sunsets is where I met Him.  We gathered  small but strong in our faith.  We didn't know each other but the bond that we have in Jesus is a stronger tie than any earthy thing.  We worshiped, listened and shared.  And at the end of our time, we were surrounded by  the church.  Hands were laid, knees were bent.  We were in the centre of a huddle and prayers were lifted up over us.  One gentleman touched my shoulder and prayed with such authority, my insides literally shook.  It was the most beautiful expression of community.  

I feel ready to go back even though the journey ahead is daunting.  I am ready to get back to our family life as a whole but fear the enormous void of Lilly.  I'm still waiting for the pain to subside.  I walk into a store and when I see little baby clothes my heart drops to my toes.  I am learning to walk by faith and not by sight and God is revealing His lavish love through the support and encouragement of our community.  Thank you for your prayers!

FRC chilli night