The dark night closed in.  My body ached with every twist and turn to find comfort.  The intense aroma of my essential oils spilled out of my diffuser throughout my room, but I didn't even notice.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't swallow, I couldn't move and now I couldn't sleep.  After all, this was day three in bed.  I noticed the emptiness beside me.  Usually the sound of the rise and fall of his chest is comforting, the warmth from his body close.  Only cold sheets, as I stretched my foot across the bed.  It was 1:30 am and I crept down the stair case.  A warm glow came from beneath the office door and I knew this was a late night project for him.  A project, a short commercial if you will, a promotional tool for an upcoming  'Orphan Sunday'.  The very thought of this was never God's design.  Why should children be abandoned, neglected and abused?  And over and over my mantra remains, ' God break my heart for that which breaks yours'.

Our journey of fostering has taught me more of the character of Christ.  To love unconditionally, to walk along side and invest in relationship even if it means I am at risk of being lied too and disrespected.  To give a out of a place with a return of no expectations.  To love and and not be loved at times.  Where did we go wrong?   We sat many times explaining the importance of a marriage, a Godly man that would love and respect the way Jesus intends.  An adult trapped in a child's body, our oldest of the four sisters is pregnant.  All eyes would be looking to see how we would handle this.  A life of abuse and orphan care,  transitioned into a family that sets standards and accountability.  That loves no matter what.  Because that is who we are .. family.

 If only she could see it.  Following the exact footsteps of family history.  The sin that entangles and chokes out anything that is pure.  Generation after generation. Proverbs 26:11 says ' As a dog returns to it's vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness'  I can't tell you how many times I have returned to the sin that so easily entangles, but there is hope, and there is freedom, when we have it in Jesus.  He can break any stronghold and set any captive free.

I have learned that blood is thicker than water and the return to biological mom was what she wanted.  And we stay true to our word, and our love.  Just like the father received his son after he left for some time, God is always ready and waiting to embrace us when we are ready.  And we keep allowing our faith to be stretched and our hearts hurt.  Because He is love and we love him.

We stand in need of prayer and wisdom.  Join us, would you?