Growing Pains

I can feel my heart breaking a little more and more each day.  It was just over a week ago I was sitting on our roof with Matt, sharing frustrations, doubts and fears and now I find myself in that very same spot on the roof expressing gratitude, joy and peace.   My emotions are a little whacked these days.  Just the other day, one of the girls in my swimming class excitedly called me mommy by accident.  Two little girls squealed in delight as they splashed about in the make shift bath this afternoon.  When I told them it was time to leave, they didn't want to go.  Heart break.  I spent some time talking with a new girl at Casa Hogar the other day.  She is 18 and there because her family tried to murder her.  She has a 3 year old boy and is unsure if her grandfather or cousin is the father.  Story after story brakes my heart in two.
When I was about 12 years old, often at night when I was laying in bed I would get these shooting pains down the back of my legs.  My mom confidently told me they were just growing pains.  I thought that if this is what it feels like, I don't want to grow up.  They hurt and were very uncomfortable.   This whole year I have experienced many growing pains.  Times of heart ache and times of feeling very uncomfortable.  I have been asked to do things I know I am not good at nor enjoy.  Some days feel very mundane, while others feel exciting and are jam packed with learning.

 It's crazy how time slips away and we spend so much of it preparing for the next thing.  I have spent much of this year just being. Something that doesn't come easily and without a lot of practice.  God has called us to be in relationship with Him first and that love He pours into our lives will pour into the lives of others.  As much as it will be hard to leave this place for now, I know that the growing pains I have felt, have only made my life richer.

getting ready to celebrate Darlin's 15th B-day

Painting nails with girls after swimming lessons