Meet Yorlini

Malnutrition is described as a condition that results in a diet that is lacking certain nutrients, an excess of, or the wrong proportions of nutrients.  This condition is on the rise for many, many people in Guatemala, specifically children.  The problem doesn't lie therein with a lack of food.  For some it is a lack of proper education, extreme cases of poverty and others neglect.  This was the case for Yorlini.

When 3 year old Yorlini first came to Hands of Mercy, She was frail and weak.  She was found on the dirt floor of her home among trash clinging to water for life.  Yorlini spent two months in treatment at a hospital to help her gain weight and get healthier.  Her parents were too busy getting drunk and abandoned her to fend for herself.  The darkness in her eyes tells her story.  After taking her for vaccinations last Thursday, I felt like she needed some extra care so we took her home.  My heart aches for this tiny girl.  I wonder how this will effect the rest of her life.  How will she develop mentally, physically and emotionally with such a start to life. I think of my precious 3 year old niece who wants to feel like a princess, run and play without a care in the world.  It is no different for Yorlini.  She too, likes to feel pretty, but can't run as walking a short distance is very hard for her.  I have been challenging her to walk each day and we are working on toilet training.  She has been doing both!  It warmed my heart last night when she gently said to Matt, " papa, look at me.... I'm walking"

painting nails 

 It has been interesting watching her at meal time.   When it is time to eat, her face lights up.  She could sit by the table all day if I let her.  She is very particular of her food placement.  Her plate and cup is always on the edge of the table and if I dare move it, you'd think I'm trying to steal it from her.  It has been hard for me to undress her for bath time.  She weighs only 1 pound more than our 5 month old Lilly.  You can imagine! Despite her size, I know God has big things in store for her life.  The darkness in her eyes is starting to lift and we see some smiles!  God is good!

The Light of the World

For those of you who know me well, I am just a wee bit nostalgic when it comes to Christmas time. The smell of gingerbread baking in the oven, the twinkling white lights and oh the music.  Yes, I am one of those people who have the christmas music playing around the clock leading up and even shortly after Christmas.  The absolute best part is spending it with family and friends whom we hold dear and love so much.  Somehow this year, the actuality of what it means to many, many people was a staggering reality of emptiness.  No sugar plum fairies, no stockings hung by the warm inviting fire, no bedazzling twinkling tree to admire, no smell of gingerbread coming from the kitchen.  For many people it is another day like no other, and some would wish it away because of the pain it brings. 

This christmas stirred  something deep within me.   I was determined to make it special for our kids at the safe house.  I dragged a pathetic looking tree with annoying flashy lights over to our directors house, where we would later celebrate.  Matt and I searched high and low for a special gift for each child in Hands of Mercy.  The kids and I made little cards and wrapped each gift  with love. Christmas eve was upon us... we planned a special evening at Dave and Julie's home ( directors of HOM)  filled with food, treats, a bonfire, piñata, and fireworks. As we all gathered by  the tree, I shared how special they are  and that God cares so much for each one of them.  Excitement grew in my tummy as we handed out the first of the gifts.  I watched expectantly for the reaction my kids in the past would have given.  There were no thrills, no real excitement.  Each one accepted the gift, partially opened it and tucked it away under their lap.  "But theres more in that box.... keep looking"  I kept thinking... I quickly realized that no gift of any kind could bring light to their dark worlds.  They were hurting, they were pining for their families.  They were homesick.  As the gifts were being passed out, I looked down at my son, Gabriel.  He looked up at me with glassy eyes and rosy cheeks.  As the words left his mouth, the tears spilled from his eyes.  "Mommy... I have two things that make me sad..... I really miss our family back in Canada.. and I am really sad that these kids don't have family now."    My heart hurt.  I saw through the eyes of my son what these kids were missing so much.  This christmas my kids learned that to give is better than to receive.  There were no presents waiting under a tree for them christmas morning, rather a family gathered together celebrating the gift God sent His hurting, lonely, sinful world.   


It has taken awhile to get settled in here in Guatemala.  Some days I feel my wheels are spinning and I don't feel much accomplished.  Currently we have 5 girls living with us.  Our family has stepped it up from a meek 5 to a team of 10.  The daily chores have multiplied.  I sometimes ask God why He even brought these 5 amazing girls onto our path.  Our little Lilly, who was found in a box in the street, our four girls who were sexually, emotionally, and physically abused by a father, and neglected by their mother.  How do I guard my heart from falling in love?

the kids of HOM acting out the christmas Story 

 We have a court date with Lilly January 16 and from there the judge will try to track down family for this little angel.  If no one comes forward, she goes on a list for adoption.  This process can take 2 years or more.  We are doing our best to research the possibility for us to adopt but the the legalities are incomprehensible. We already tried with "our" other four girls and doors were shut.  Every night, when her tiny body squirms and awakens for a bottle and affection, I creep to her bed in delight.  Knowing that I have this privilege to love her, hold her is the best christmas gift yet. And I pray... with tears streaming my face and falling on hers, that God who began a good work will continue to in her life .  That she will have a family that will love her as much as mine does.  And as I pray, God reminds me of His love and calling in my life.  That we are to be salt and light to the world. Thank you Jesus for coming as a tiny baby!  Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!!

Kids received a care package from friends back home 

Do you believe in miracles?

The lady speaking to Pastor Ed was healed from bone cancer.
Praise God!

A couple of weeks ago we went to our church's Wednesday night service.  The church itself is a warehouse in downtown Jalapa and has nothing more inside other than a stage and small audio booth/bathroom, but the place crams in tons of people (about 400) and they know how to praise God with vigour.  People jumping with arms in the air, wailing out as they serve the God who reigns, weeping while singing songs of joy and gratefulness, and shouting 'amen!' and 'hallelujah!' when the pastor speaks. 

A mother holding her baby who was born premature that had
a heart attack, tremors, and diagnosed as being deaf and blind.
Child is no in good health and can see and hear.  Praise God!

Admittedly it is an odd church experience for most North Americans that visit, even for myself despite the many times we have attended.  However, what blows my mind is the belief of miracles in this church/culture.  Back home I would hear fellow church members talk about the miracle of God's provision when a donor would give groceries to help fill a food bank, describe the development of a newborn baby, or that the church budget would be fulfilled in the last month of the year.  Here in this church they had a miracle service a couple of months earlier where they called forward anyone who wanted to experience a healing in their life for anything.  Two months later, they followed up on this and asked those who experienced a miraculous change in their life.  A handful of people made their way to the front and began to explain their illness and strife.  Story after story, people described their faith in God, how they believed in His healing power, took the action to make their situation better, and explained how God provided them with this miracle.

The more I observe miracles in other people, the more I see that an action must happen for a miracle to occur.  God loves to be in community with His believers and He wants to be our provider.  We need to be in contact with God more through studying, meditating, praying, believing, and lining our lives with His desires for us.  However, our desires often may not line up with what God desires for us.  Understanding why God does miracles in some and not others is a complex subject, but I did like hearing what Pastor Ed had to say, 'That people need to see the result of miracles so they can be in awe of God and recognize where praise needs to be given.' (based out of the verse found in Matthew 9:8)  

My prayer and wish this coming Christmas is that we all look at where miracles happen in our lives and that we give God the glory for His awesome provision.  Put your faith in God and align yourself with His plan and ACT ON IT!  Not an easy task even according to Jesus (Matthew 19:24 - Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is very hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.")

Prost!

I just love when my family gathers for a celebration.  It is a busy household with all 17 of us.  There is a sense of excitement in the air as the door opens and in spills another sibling with their family.   The kitchen smells of fresh baked delights and the aroma of coffee brewed.  Inevitably, a glass gets raised and we toast to the celebration or individual we gather for.
Celebrating birthdays has always been a big deal to me.  I am usually the last one to bed the eve before the special day, decorating and finishing off any last minute preparations.  We just celebrated our very first birthday in Guatemala this past week.  And since he insisted on it not being a big deal, I thought I would give him the only gift I can.  My words.
If you have met my husband, you wouldn't be surprised when I tell you he is the most generous person I know.  He has taught me much on  patience,kindness, respect and grace.  He has seen things in me, and pushed me out of my safety on so many occasions.  When I have failed, he has been there to extend a hand and help me up, not only to his level but held me high.  If you have met my husband, you know his contagious laugh a mile away.  His candid humour has always made family gatherings interesting.  He challenges me to take a closer look at what being a Christ follower is.  He is the best partner in life,  most amazing father to our growing crew  of children and loyal friend!  So raise your glass with me and Prost!  Happy 35th birthday Matt!!!

Dropping Nets

18 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him. (Matt 4:18-20)

This is a story of faith, hope and love.  A story to tell and share.  It is our story             of what God is doing in our lives.  

baby Susan at church with Matt

Five weeks ago, I sat alone on my empty bedroom floor, quietly with God.  It felt strangely foreign in the empty house.  The familiar smell of cookies in the oven, the pitter patter of feet up and down the stairs, and the sounds of laughter, somehow faded as the house emptied.  They are few of the many wonderful memories we had in our home.  Understanding obedience has often left me in wonder and anticipation.  I have struggled with fear, anxiety and sometimes doubt.  Reluctantly, I have had to let go of things and have learned to experience surrender on a new level.  It came with a fight and great turmoil.  I was reminded through that process that God has blessed us with so much and it is His to take.  Every now and then I have an instantaneous moment of panic, and I ask myself..."what the heck have we done?"  I have been avoiding sitting and writing for some time now.  The thought of trying to articulate and express my emotions is somewhat daunting.  I fear if I stop to write I might actually have to deal with some buried emotions. 

midnight feeding

I left a piece of my heart behind saying goodbye to family and friends.  The impact this has had on our kids thus far has been nothing shy of smooth.  I have had the most incredible heart to heart talks with our ten year old son in the last 8 months in preparation for this transition.  Out of all our kids, this by far has been the hardest on Gabe.  He has questioned faith and whether God really exists.  Of course as parents, we want to shelter our kids, protect them and avoid discomfort.  I have learned to let go and let God do only what He can do in Gabe's life.  I realized that his faith journey is not a result of what I do for him in his life. It is something he needs to grasp, something he needs to pursue and own one day.  I have had the privilege of seeing God work in Gabe's heart and every time he opens up, he melts my heart.  We have sat together and cried over the injustices we have been exposed to.  

medical team

Upon arriving, we had a medical team here from various cities across the states.  Max had the opportunity to head into the mountain village to help with the clinic.  David (our partner in Hands Of Mercy) meets with local Guatemalans beforehand,who know the communities in need to distribute numbers to the local village leaders who then pass the numbers on to the people in need. Max took patients blood pressure, seated them, and helped slit pills while connecting with the kids.  We are looking forward to another team of physician assistants coming the second week in December.  We also quickly reconnected with our four girls at Casa Hogar, Los Pinos.  It was a joy to be a part of Angelica's graduation last week.  As part of the ceremony, the parent has the honour of presenting the diploma.  She called her dad (Matt) up.  It was so incredible to be there in support for her. Currently, I am a full time care giver of a 2 and a 1/2 month old baby girl.  She is so precious!  Little Susan was brought to our safe house after being found in a box in the street.  I don't know her full story nor expect to, but I know one thing for sure; God has blessed us with her for now.  As I hold her tight and feed her in the night  I pray for her tiny life.  I know that God has something special in store for her.  I pray for the mom she may never know. I can't imagine what it meant for her to give up her child.  Somedays I feel like I want to be building things and getting my hands dirty instead of changing dirty diapers and night feedings. There is more of a sense of accomplishment in a project.  But God wants us to invest in people not buildings, and as messy and hard as it is at times, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  

We are in the process of writing proposals and board meetings for Hands of Mercy.  We are hoping to purchase land to provide a place for the kids to grow up in foster home situations. We want to provide a more integrated approach with solar energy, farming, educational programs, and a medical clinic.  We are dreaming big!  

I have been reading  a section on boldness in Altar Ego ( Craig Groeschell) Just this past January I prayed boldly that God would speak into our lives, regarding His will and purpose for us.  I have learned that bold obedience often triggers opposition.  I have faced lots over the last few months.  There is a part of me that hesitates in asking boldly for God to provide because I know that opposition will follow.  But when we are in the centre of His perfect will for our lives, I believe that God will reveal His plan and that if we are willing to drop our nets and follow Him, our faith grows and we get to see His holy spirit at work! 

“Would you Rather...?”

There's this game my kids love playing on long road trips. It goes something like this.... “mom, would you rather eat a sandwich covered in glue or jello with pickles in it?” I try and try to get out of making a choice but ultimately I need to choose one.. or the other. This games goes on and on and gets grosser each “would you rather” question. My kids giggle and squirm until they challenge each family member. I was reminded of this silly little game the other night as I was drifting off to sleep. It was in that moment I felt God nudge me.... Mandy..would you rather stay here comfortable or be obedient in what I am asking you..... not such an obvious and easy answer.

I used to walk down our county road in Jordan night after summer night, exactly twenty years ago. It was a painful walk as I was processing our familys' upcoming move. I would never have expected what was to come. I never imagined finding a church that would challenge my faith and influence my walk at such a pivotal point in my youth. I never imagined meeting my best friend and husband that would one day father our three children. I never imagined that after getting baptized in my early twenties that shortly later I would experience one of the most painful times in my life. I never imagined at how a God so rich in mercy and grace would pick up the brokenness in my life and turn it around for His glory and goodness. I never imagined that my heart could love so much as when we stepped foot in an orphanage in Guatemala. I never imagined falling in love with four vibrant, beautiful girls who would later call us mom and dad. And most recently, I never imagined even entertaining the thought of fully surrendering to a call that has tugged on my heart for years; a call in pursuing a life in ministry, serving the people of Guatemala.

As I reflect on God's leading in my life, I am reminded to trust Him with my whole being. Stepping out of our comfort is never an easy transition. Mother Teresa was quoted once saying,”don't ever hold onto something so tightly that God has to rip it from the grip of your hand”. My life is not my own. I was created in the image of God, made specifically for a purpose. If God is calling, I am answering. What would you rather for your life?

An Amazing Start

     Many of you are aware that I am (was) a school teacher and that I was working with the great staff and student body at Grapeview Public School.  Like any job, you connect with fellow staff and students by discussing your comings and goings to have a better sense of each other.  As the year progressed, many coworkers were intrigued with the work our family had done in Guatemala last year and they asked more about our journey.  It's flattering when  someone takes an interest in what you do.  Little did I know that after my  announcement to return to Guatemala, the school would start scheming ways to help.

Freezie sales for mission support.

     During the last month of school a group of girls in grades 4 and 5 devised a plan to use duct tape and fold it into all sorts of crazy assortments to make pencil flowers, hair bows, wallets, purses, and other items.  They sold these items around the school and directed all funds to the mission in Guatemala.  Additionally, two teachers started to sell freezies at school with their class and social justice club to direct all funds to the needs of the orphanage.  Another teacher  formed a drum group and performed at the local Home Hardware raising both awareness and financial support for the  mission.  I was blown away by all the support and that a group of people were sympathetic toward the same cause.

     The following week we had an assembly for volunteers that support our school community.  During the assembly they called me up and were making mention of the work my family and I have done and will be doing.  I prayed that God would give me the right words to say to the young audience as I can't go into the details about the harsh realities many children around the world experience and why they need so much help.  After I delivered a short speech (which I honestly thank God for because I am far from being that articulate!) the staff announced how much was raised and estimated how much more may be raised.  A large cheque of $2300 was unrolled.  My lower lip started to quiver and then the staff did something even more incredible.  They said  that more was being done.  A lump in my throat formed. Two retiring teachers  this year,  gave up their retirement gifts and directed the monies to the mission. As if that wasn't enough,  another teacher stated that the school had drafted a letter in honour of these retiring teachers that a donation from the Grapeview community could be made to our mission.  Tears filled my eyes.

Bucket Drumming at Home Hardware

     After dropping these bombs of amazing support they then asked me to pose with students and the cheque for a photo op.  I mustered up the words 'thank you' and 'wow' before I quickly turned away from the crowd and looked at my supportive staff and students and began to sob.  Crying is not a common event for me but has become more a part of how I express myself when God breaks me.  God broke me at that moment as I saw how much capacity of love exists in my school community.  I hugged each staff and student down the line that stood behind me not only during that presentation but in support for the work that was going to happen in Guatemala.  It is a rare moment to feel that loved by so many people at once and know that they too mourn over the unmet needs of others that we care deeply about.

     Needless to say the outpouring of support at Grapeview was an amazing start as we continue to find people to partner with us in the mission.  We pray that our support letters find you well and that you can be a part of a ministry.

Jeremiah 29:11