Do you ever wonder if you are doing the right thing?

Mercedes teaching the toddlers
at the safe house a new game.

When we first got started on this whole missionary life back in 2009, we have often struggled with where we need to be.  So many opportunities come our way each day, many of which are small with no lasting impact but on the rare occasion we face big ones.  For Mandy and I, coming to Guatemala was a three year process in which we fought about where our purpose was in God's plan for us and our children.  Through lots of prayer and discernment, we feel that we are supposed to be here and working with these awesome yet unwanted children.

 I personally struggle  playing my own devil's advocate.  Unquestionably, I feel that working in Guatemala is our calling but what that work entails is not always so clear.  Many days I pray to be productive or to find the right combination of 'works' to 'relationship'.  What provides a better eternal impact?  Giving to those in need? Being with those in need? Both?

Taking on five girls full time in our home has
presented some challenges (to say the least).

How does someone wade through all of the problems in the world and find one that they need to "fix" when so many problems are presented?  For example, the children at the safe house need decent food, shelter, water, and a spiritual education.  All of which we have been providing.  However, some are learning English in school and need some support, babies need to be given more attention, some kids have speech therapy appointments, others want to learn how to craft, all of them need to get exercise and time out of the house, they need spiritual mentors, etc.  Realistically I know we can't be all things to all people.  Mandy and I are pulled in different directions to do what is 'best' for our family.  Admittedly, we have made many mistakes and have questioned ourselves in the decision making process.

My parents with Gabe and Mercedes ready
to do some trick or treating.

To answer the blog title, I do not always think we are doing the right thing, but we do strive to do the best at what we can.  I remember a conversation with my parents a couple years back while we were getting ready to go out for Halloween.  Mom and Dad made a decision when I was about nine years old to stop going out for Halloween.  Talk about torture, watching your friends enjoy the evening of collecting candy while we went to the mall to avoid the costumed kids knocking at our door.  However, 24 years later my parents got dressed up at my house with my kids and went out to enjoy the evening of collecting treats.  During that night, I jabbed at my parents that they had denied me a right of passage as a kid and here they are celebrating the holiday with my own.  To which my Dad replied quickly and confidently that they were wrong and at times parents make mistakes.  Nothing more than that.  For me, my Dad demonstrated a lot of grace.  He was not going beat himself up but stated where his decision wasn't the best and moved on.

I am thankful for the example my parents provided for me.  With the various projects that we have completed here and the people that we have interacted with, we struggle to always see the benefit we hope to create.  Where we need to be gracious with ourselves,  is that our hearts are always in the best interest of those we work with.  Continue to pray for us and those we work with as we desire to make positive and eternal change by doing the right thing.

An Amazing Start

     Many of you are aware that I am (was) a school teacher and that I was working with the great staff and student body at Grapeview Public School.  Like any job, you connect with fellow staff and students by discussing your comings and goings to have a better sense of each other.  As the year progressed, many coworkers were intrigued with the work our family had done in Guatemala last year and they asked more about our journey.  It's flattering when  someone takes an interest in what you do.  Little did I know that after my  announcement to return to Guatemala, the school would start scheming ways to help.

Freezie sales for mission support.

     During the last month of school a group of girls in grades 4 and 5 devised a plan to use duct tape and fold it into all sorts of crazy assortments to make pencil flowers, hair bows, wallets, purses, and other items.  They sold these items around the school and directed all funds to the mission in Guatemala.  Additionally, two teachers started to sell freezies at school with their class and social justice club to direct all funds to the needs of the orphanage.  Another teacher  formed a drum group and performed at the local Home Hardware raising both awareness and financial support for the  mission.  I was blown away by all the support and that a group of people were sympathetic toward the same cause.

     The following week we had an assembly for volunteers that support our school community.  During the assembly they called me up and were making mention of the work my family and I have done and will be doing.  I prayed that God would give me the right words to say to the young audience as I can't go into the details about the harsh realities many children around the world experience and why they need so much help.  After I delivered a short speech (which I honestly thank God for because I am far from being that articulate!) the staff announced how much was raised and estimated how much more may be raised.  A large cheque of $2300 was unrolled.  My lower lip started to quiver and then the staff did something even more incredible.  They said  that more was being done.  A lump in my throat formed. Two retiring teachers  this year,  gave up their retirement gifts and directed the monies to the mission. As if that wasn't enough,  another teacher stated that the school had drafted a letter in honour of these retiring teachers that a donation from the Grapeview community could be made to our mission.  Tears filled my eyes.

Bucket Drumming at Home Hardware

     After dropping these bombs of amazing support they then asked me to pose with students and the cheque for a photo op.  I mustered up the words 'thank you' and 'wow' before I quickly turned away from the crowd and looked at my supportive staff and students and began to sob.  Crying is not a common event for me but has become more a part of how I express myself when God breaks me.  God broke me at that moment as I saw how much capacity of love exists in my school community.  I hugged each staff and student down the line that stood behind me not only during that presentation but in support for the work that was going to happen in Guatemala.  It is a rare moment to feel that loved by so many people at once and know that they too mourn over the unmet needs of others that we care deeply about.

     Needless to say the outpouring of support at Grapeview was an amazing start as we continue to find people to partner with us in the mission.  We pray that our support letters find you well and that you can be a part of a ministry.

Jeremiah 29:11

Where's your security?

Jay and I at Casa Hogar (truck in background)

This past Sunday was a very different experience.  After dropping off a former student of mine at the airport we accepted a new Canadian volunteer named 'Jay'.  He has been travelling through Central America with his camera and video equipment taking in the culture and entrenching himself in the happenings of different missions.  On our way back home to Jalapa we exchanged stories and I primarily focused on the frustrations of how Casa Hogar needs a better maintenance plan.  Embarrassingly enough the truck broke down on the side of the mountain highway due to a loose battery terminal, a dirty rad and limited supply of oil in the engine.  I'm sure the thought rolling through his mind right away was "And you are helping them with maintenance?"

The truck is such an important tool here
to deliver supplies, carry people, and
to drive over the rough terrain.

We began to wiggle wires, check fluids and attempted to restart vehicle after each adjustment to only end in the same disfunction.  I reassured him the truck has been nothing but a maintenance nightmare as I quickly called my friend and new employee Arnold to get us out of the bind.  As we waited at the side of the road many of my fears of bandits that I had in my first visits here came through my head.  Knowing that we were going to have to wait this out until help came I prayed quickly that we could get the truck going and relax in the safety of our home.
 Only waiting a quick moment a man in another black Toyota pick-up in the same model as mine stopped and got out of his truck and offered help.....and in English to boot.  He told us that he was at his home when a few people in a passing bus yelled out to him that some people need help with their truck around the corner.  He quickly wiggled the same wires we had, checked the fluids again and proceeded to sit in the driver's seat and started the truck.

Might as well snap a photo while waiting on the road.

I wish I could have seen my face when the car started because it just didn't make sense.  The man stepped out of my truck, shook hands, walked towards his truck and went on his way. I called Arnold to stop him from coming to save us in the mountains and we went home.
 Often the fears we carry are real and can be justified, however God used that small instance to show me that He is always present and that we only need to lean on Him for our security.  I often laugh at how I try to accomplish or control things on my own and how God can quickly turn those events on my head.
To carry the story further, as soon as Jay and I got home Arnold (without prompting or indication) pulled in behind us immediately with the tools to fix the problem.  Arnold also showed us that a little lemon juice and baking soda can clean the corrosion off of terminals in a pinch......got to love the ingenuity of Guatemalans.  When God provides He does so in ways that you can't imagine.
Needless to say the truck has been running much better and we are truly thankful for the provision of safety, aid and friendship as we continue on with our mission.
Praise God.