The Light of the World

For those of you who know me well, I am just a wee bit nostalgic when it comes to Christmas time. The smell of gingerbread baking in the oven, the twinkling white lights and oh the music.  Yes, I am one of those people who have the christmas music playing around the clock leading up and even shortly after Christmas.  The absolute best part is spending it with family and friends whom we hold dear and love so much.  Somehow this year, the actuality of what it means to many, many people was a staggering reality of emptiness.  No sugar plum fairies, no stockings hung by the warm inviting fire, no bedazzling twinkling tree to admire, no smell of gingerbread coming from the kitchen.  For many people it is another day like no other, and some would wish it away because of the pain it brings. 

This christmas stirred  something deep within me.   I was determined to make it special for our kids at the safe house.  I dragged a pathetic looking tree with annoying flashy lights over to our directors house, where we would later celebrate.  Matt and I searched high and low for a special gift for each child in Hands of Mercy.  The kids and I made little cards and wrapped each gift  with love. Christmas eve was upon us... we planned a special evening at Dave and Julie's home ( directors of HOM)  filled with food, treats, a bonfire, piñata, and fireworks. As we all gathered by  the tree, I shared how special they are  and that God cares so much for each one of them.  Excitement grew in my tummy as we handed out the first of the gifts.  I watched expectantly for the reaction my kids in the past would have given.  There were no thrills, no real excitement.  Each one accepted the gift, partially opened it and tucked it away under their lap.  "But theres more in that box.... keep looking"  I kept thinking... I quickly realized that no gift of any kind could bring light to their dark worlds.  They were hurting, they were pining for their families.  They were homesick.  As the gifts were being passed out, I looked down at my son, Gabriel.  He looked up at me with glassy eyes and rosy cheeks.  As the words left his mouth, the tears spilled from his eyes.  "Mommy... I have two things that make me sad..... I really miss our family back in Canada.. and I am really sad that these kids don't have family now."    My heart hurt.  I saw through the eyes of my son what these kids were missing so much.  This christmas my kids learned that to give is better than to receive.  There were no presents waiting under a tree for them christmas morning, rather a family gathered together celebrating the gift God sent His hurting, lonely, sinful world.   


It has taken awhile to get settled in here in Guatemala.  Some days I feel my wheels are spinning and I don't feel much accomplished.  Currently we have 5 girls living with us.  Our family has stepped it up from a meek 5 to a team of 10.  The daily chores have multiplied.  I sometimes ask God why He even brought these 5 amazing girls onto our path.  Our little Lilly, who was found in a box in the street, our four girls who were sexually, emotionally, and physically abused by a father, and neglected by their mother.  How do I guard my heart from falling in love?

the kids of HOM acting out the christmas Story 

 We have a court date with Lilly January 16 and from there the judge will try to track down family for this little angel.  If no one comes forward, she goes on a list for adoption.  This process can take 2 years or more.  We are doing our best to research the possibility for us to adopt but the the legalities are incomprehensible. We already tried with "our" other four girls and doors were shut.  Every night, when her tiny body squirms and awakens for a bottle and affection, I creep to her bed in delight.  Knowing that I have this privilege to love her, hold her is the best christmas gift yet. And I pray... with tears streaming my face and falling on hers, that God who began a good work will continue to in her life .  That she will have a family that will love her as much as mine does.  And as I pray, God reminds me of His love and calling in my life.  That we are to be salt and light to the world. Thank you Jesus for coming as a tiny baby!  Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!!!

Kids received a care package from friends back home