critters

I love the outdoors.  Every chance I get, I am out enjoying creation, however I am not a fan of critters.  As my definition goes, a critter is any insect, snake, lizard, frog and the list goes on and on .... I think you get the point.  Tonight I did the routinely drive,  picking up a group of girls from school in Jalalpa and driving them back to the orphanage.  Matt usually makes this trek in the dark but is fighting a flu.  The roads were swampy to say the least.  Rainy season has hit and the roads prove it.  I feared stepping out of the truck to close the gate behind me as I left the orphanage.  Not knowing where I was stepping on this pitch black, rainy night in my flip flops kind of freaked me out.  I must admit, I feel like a bit of a failure in my boys' eyes.  In the past I have said no to snakes, frogs, geckos and other critters for pets.  I must clarify, the snake was a find in the neighbours backyard in Canada.  However, today I feel like a hero.  I came home with a surprise that won Gabe's heart and mine with his response.  Apparently I am "the best mom in the whole world".  Just sayin:)  I almost squealed as it's head poked out while trying to pick it up.  Our new backyard guest.....a tortuga (turtle)!

Alternative Realities

My 'coworkers' for the morning shovelling stone to
be used in the cement foundation of the new storage house.

The past couple of weeks have been crazy here in Jalapa.  However through the fog of all of the work and activity a few moments stood out.
This past Friday I went to Casa Hogar to help with collecting river rocks for the new driveway and to buy some school supplies for some of the girls.  However plans changed (surprise surprise) and I ended up having to haul loads of sand, stone and cinder block to the construction site of the new storage house that is being funded by a group from Spain.  I was partnered with two boys as my helpers for the morning.  After a bit of grunt labour, conversation started to pick up and I found out that the boys were 14 years old and had been working in construction full-time for the last two years.
When I asked about school, they stated that they complete weekend courses to keep up with their peers.  Looking at these two boys, who are a bit smaller than the average 14 year old boy in Canada,  I was amazed.  From our experience here boys don't work like this unless they need to support their family.  It was difficult for me to comprehend how at the age of 12 they stopped living like a 'normal' child and took on more of a role of a man.
These experiences make it hard for me to return to the comforts of Canada because this kind of story is exactly what it is 'foreign'.  It is not to say that these boys were pathetic in appearance, malnourished, being abused, or not receiving an education.  It just seems far from fair when we compare the standards and expectations for our children in North America to those children who live 2000 kilometres south of us.
I don't think that a child working a job is bad thing (depending on the duration and type of labour).  However, when the expectation is to be the provider for your family and forego elements of your youth to earn less than $7 a day, this is a reality I will try to but never understand.

This picture does no justice but while driving by with my young
co-workers I snapped off a photo of Eddie's house while some of
the women from the community lingered from the new cooking lesson.

The other moment was watching a group of women from Los Pinos collect at Eddie's house to learn how to prepare different foods that are more nutritious for their children.  Once a month this so called gourmet group collects at a different home in Los Pinos where the woman of the house instructs the others on how to cook the new meal or snack.  Food resources are limited, you have to bring your own plate or bag to carry out the new creation, it has to be cooked over an open flame or wood stove, and since many of the women in the village are at the party you bring your kids as well.  Great to see the community connect this way and have the opportunity to be creative with one-another.  Reminded me of my wife's gourmet group back in Canada, but this focussed on the practical production of nutritious foods at a low cost for children.

Feliz Dia del Madre

the moms of Casa Hogar

Even "Gordito" got in on the action

love it when the nuns sing

 For many people, Mother's Day is a special day but in Guatemala it's a big deal.  It all started this morning  when I woke Gabe up for school. Unlike any other morning when I have to peel him out of bed, he jumped up and asked if he could walk to the corner store.  I suggested Matt go with him as I didn't think it was good idea he walk by himself at 6:30am.  I watched as he secretly gathered materials for making me a card at school.  What Gabe didn't know is that Mother's Day actually falls on Thursday of this week. I didn't want to burst his bubble.   Casa Hogar handed out personal invites yesterday to all the moms to meet in the courtyard of the orphanage for 10:30 am this morning.  Maybe this is where he got the idea that today was the big day.  I showed up and was ushered in through a lineup of hugs, warm wishes and of course firecrackers.  For those of you who have been to Guatemala, you know exactly what I am talking about.  It was so special to see all the young mothers of the house being honoured at the front.  I watch these young moms some at the age of 13 caring for their babies, and can't imagine the weight they carry.  Even though it's kids raising kids,  there is no one like mommy.  The girls wear the exact same uniform and  yet their little ones can pick them out of a crowd of girls.  So sweet!  We were entertained with songs, dancing, skits and speeches while we enjoyed a new cookie recipe I taught the nuns the day before.  My heart melted!  To top it off, when I got home  I was greeted at our front gate by Gabe, who proudly handed over a pink envelope that he fashioned.  I sat and opened it and out fell a half eaten chocolate bar and card.  Apparently the chocolate bar broke in half and someone got hungry while making the card.  I laughed and cried ...yes I did the laugh/cry.  

Providence or Coincidence?

Providence is defined as a manifestation of divine care or direction.  Coincidence is defined as a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by by mere chance.  There have been so many times while here that we have felt the Lord's protection and leading.  I like to think that everything happens for a reason.  Yes, there are some things that just happen, but you know the kind of things that line up perfectly, almost like it was set up for you.  Sometimes it's after the fact that you realize it, and sometimes it's in the moment.  Today was one of those "in the moment"  for Matt and I.

Saturdays have become more of a catch up day for us as a family.  This morning Matt ran loads of wood back and forth to Casa Hogar, while the kids and I chilled at home.  Besides all the laundry and cleaning, we made time for some fun. Gabe loves to draw and I love seeing his creativity come out in his artwork.  Mercedes  had a chance to skype with her best friend Emma and "played school" on the white board.  Max busied himself taking care of the chickens and playing on the computer.   Our guest room became vacant this past week, and so after promising Max, we moved his room over.  This was a big deal for him as he has never had his own room.  He spent a good part of the day setting things up just the way he wanted. I remember when I first got my own room.  I was 16 years old.  As much as it was exciting to have my own space, I missed looking over at my sweet little sister sound asleep as I drifted off to sleep.

As we were getting ready to do our routine Saturday market run, we had company at our gate.  I just love drop in visitors.  We welcomed Mother Claudia and one of the assisting nuns from Casa Hogar in for a refreshing drink on this blistering hot day.  I haven't had much one on one time with Mother Claudia and it was great to connect without constant interruptions.  Matt and I both feel that it takes a lot of time and patience to build and encourage these relationships. We are struggling through speaking a foreign language, that often results in "sign language."   And yet we share the same heart for the girls.  We spent a couple of hours dreaming of what could be, may be for Casa Hogar.  Early on, Matt shared a vision with me for Los Pinos.  I half heartedly listened.  It wasn't until Easter weekend when we did our banana drop in Los Pinos that God stirred something in my heart for this underdeveloped community.  Today, out of the blue, Mother Claudia suggested something that we have been processing. It was directed right at us.  In fact, there was a pause and Matt and I just looked at each other in amazement......providence!

every now and then it's good to let it out

Well today made for an interesting one.  I woke up this morning and busied myself in the kitchen preparing chocolate cake for 30 inmates.  Our prison 
bible study invited our family in for lunch. We felt honoured knowing how difficult it is for them to afford such a gesture.  They went all out and made chicken ( feet included) with potatoes and rice.  At one point Mercedes needed to use their facilities.  I was apprehensive but they insisted on showing us the bathroom.  The toilet was next to the stove top burner.  I think I threw up a little in my mouth seeing where the food had been prepared.  Sometimes it is better NOT to know.  Since the area is very small and at times it feels like the walls are closing in, they set up tables  in the only open available area.  Directly over the sewage drain.  Sweet little Mercedes, leaned in and whispered, "mom, something smells funny".   I reminded her to be a little gracious and told her that not many 6 year olds get the opportunity to eat lunch in a prison in a developing country, so just go with it.  Needless to say the kids did their best at the meal and looked very happy when I pulled out the chocolate cake.  For one lady, I know our visit means the world to her as she has had no one come to see her.  She hugged me and told me she loved me.  The very first bible study morning I brought in soaps/shampoo and t-shirts.  This particular lady makes sure she has that t-shirt on every Tuesday.  So precious!

The kids needed some down time with mom, so we hung out at home and the boys worked on their school project while Matt and Jay went out shooting film in Los Pinos.   Just as they were finishing up interviewing a handful of girls, a mom with her five kids showed up at the gate.  The youngest, being four months but looking like a two month, was very dehydrated and needed medical care urgently.  Leaving the other four behind, the mom (along with a nun)  got a ride into town with Matt.  He drove them straight to the hospital.   Just a couple hours later we received a call from Mother Claudia, asking us to pick them up and return them to Casa Hogar.  Since Matt is constantly bombing back and forth, I offered to do the drive.  When I arrived at the hospital, only the nun holding the baby hopped in the truck.  She shut the truck door and left the mother standing on the street corner.  I felt confused and waited  for her.  The nun looked at me and said she can't look after her children.  Of course I knew where this was heading but I still had so many questions.  I had a very hard time driving away.  I can't imagine what the mom was feeling.  This particular situation is sadly far too common here.  The father left his wife and their 5 children and she had no more to give.  Not enough food or resources to provide for her children. Out of desperation, she landed at the gates of Casa Hogar for help.  I have been exposed to so many difficulties and seen a lot of poverty.  In some ways it becomes 'normal" to see kids picking through the garbage every morning, or an 80 year old woman hauling wood or water, or kids my daughters age selling candy in the streets to help make a living for their families.  I don't want to become de-sensitized and accept it but I guess I already have.  Some things I will never understand.  I sometimes am disconnected or maybe guard my emotions, because if I didn't I would be weeping all the time.  Every now and then it's good to let it out. Tonight in the truck, the tears streamed down my cheeks.  I felt such a sadness and emptiness for this mom.  I know that this decision probably was not an easy one and that it is in the children's best interest, but it I couldn't imagine the pain.

Okay, so lately I have been having writers block and so much has happened I can't catch up.  Here are some photos to catch up!

We hiked a volcano to find this at the top!

The kids working on homeschooling.

Thanks to Will Leone and other donors for your generosity in supplying new plates , bowls,  cups, cooking pots and knives.

Matt explaining the functionality of each knife.

Visiting Eddie's family for their daughter's first birthday.  Thank you Brian Pol for your generous donation of bears and  T-shirts. 

One Easter we will never forget.  Instead of an easter egg hunt, we delivered bunches of bananas to the village of Los Pinos and left a surprise with each one.

Kids came running with anything they could find to fill with bunches and bunches of bananas.

Thank you Lindy Menzies for all the knitted hats you brought.  They come in handy on all those chilly nights.

Great craft idea that Nicole Bilton planned!

Our newest Canadian friend ( Nicole) who came for a night and ended up staying the week with us.

Denied

It was like the feeling of waiting for a pregnancy test result.  Fearful, nervous and excited all at once.  We opened the long awaited package from the visa office with anticipation for good news.  I felt a little sick with mixed emotions as I watched Matt open the envelope and wait to  respond.  I knew already that the application was denied by the hesitation and look on his face.  I just couldn't  look at Fransesca and my eyes hit the floor and just stared.  I felt defeated, discouraged and questioned why over and over again.  I mean, I understand in some ways why but not the reason completely.  Was is just wishful thinking?  What are the chances?  I looked up and embraced a tear filled Fransesca in my arms.  I didn't know what to say other than we will keep trying.
We are learning more and more of Fransesca's life and it is so heart wrenching listening to her story unfold.  She broke down crying the other night just thinking about us leaving.  She said that she doesn't understand how her own family who live here in Jalapa don't take the time to see her and her sisters and yet a family from Canada has come to invest in the lives of these young girls.  She thanked me for our love.  I feel like it is never enough.  It is not only my love but the out pouring of God and what He has done in my life.  Trying to process the different emotions, has been very difficult lately for Matt and I.




It has been an emotionally hard  week for us as a family.  The start of it all was the dreaded early morning phone call.  The kind of call, when you miss,  it rings on again until someone answers.  My  thoughts immediately went  home to family.  I  wondered, did something happen, is everyone okay?  Instead it was one of our dear nuns from Casa Hogar, with the sad news of the new babies death.   A baby boy was born last Sunday weighing in at only 4lbs.  The mother was sent back to the orphanage with her baby and little knowledge of taking care of him.  I was eager to help.  Only three days later, the baby died of unknown causes. Early that Wednesday morning,  Matt drove deep into the mountains in search for the young girls' family as she wept beside him holding her dead baby.  Death robs lives at very young ages.  Just the other week I learned of an 8 month old baby who died of dehydration.  Poor drinking water leading to chronic diarrhea.  Many little graves line the fields in the cemetery in Jalapa and I can't imagine how many more up in the mountain communities.