“Would you Rather...?”

There's this game my kids love playing on long road trips. It goes something like this.... “mom, would you rather eat a sandwich covered in glue or jello with pickles in it?” I try and try to get out of making a choice but ultimately I need to choose one.. or the other. This games goes on and on and gets grosser each “would you rather” question. My kids giggle and squirm until they challenge each family member. I was reminded of this silly little game the other night as I was drifting off to sleep. It was in that moment I felt God nudge me.... Mandy..would you rather stay here comfortable or be obedient in what I am asking you..... not such an obvious and easy answer.

I used to walk down our county road in Jordan night after summer night, exactly twenty years ago. It was a painful walk as I was processing our familys' upcoming move. I would never have expected what was to come. I never imagined finding a church that would challenge my faith and influence my walk at such a pivotal point in my youth. I never imagined meeting my best friend and husband that would one day father our three children. I never imagined that after getting baptized in my early twenties that shortly later I would experience one of the most painful times in my life. I never imagined at how a God so rich in mercy and grace would pick up the brokenness in my life and turn it around for His glory and goodness. I never imagined that my heart could love so much as when we stepped foot in an orphanage in Guatemala. I never imagined falling in love with four vibrant, beautiful girls who would later call us mom and dad. And most recently, I never imagined even entertaining the thought of fully surrendering to a call that has tugged on my heart for years; a call in pursuing a life in ministry, serving the people of Guatemala.

As I reflect on God's leading in my life, I am reminded to trust Him with my whole being. Stepping out of our comfort is never an easy transition. Mother Teresa was quoted once saying,”don't ever hold onto something so tightly that God has to rip it from the grip of your hand”. My life is not my own. I was created in the image of God, made specifically for a purpose. If God is calling, I am answering. What would you rather for your life?

An Amazing Start

     Many of you are aware that I am (was) a school teacher and that I was working with the great staff and student body at Grapeview Public School.  Like any job, you connect with fellow staff and students by discussing your comings and goings to have a better sense of each other.  As the year progressed, many coworkers were intrigued with the work our family had done in Guatemala last year and they asked more about our journey.  It's flattering when  someone takes an interest in what you do.  Little did I know that after my  announcement to return to Guatemala, the school would start scheming ways to help.

Freezie sales for mission support.

     During the last month of school a group of girls in grades 4 and 5 devised a plan to use duct tape and fold it into all sorts of crazy assortments to make pencil flowers, hair bows, wallets, purses, and other items.  They sold these items around the school and directed all funds to the mission in Guatemala.  Additionally, two teachers started to sell freezies at school with their class and social justice club to direct all funds to the needs of the orphanage.  Another teacher  formed a drum group and performed at the local Home Hardware raising both awareness and financial support for the  mission.  I was blown away by all the support and that a group of people were sympathetic toward the same cause.

     The following week we had an assembly for volunteers that support our school community.  During the assembly they called me up and were making mention of the work my family and I have done and will be doing.  I prayed that God would give me the right words to say to the young audience as I can't go into the details about the harsh realities many children around the world experience and why they need so much help.  After I delivered a short speech (which I honestly thank God for because I am far from being that articulate!) the staff announced how much was raised and estimated how much more may be raised.  A large cheque of $2300 was unrolled.  My lower lip started to quiver and then the staff did something even more incredible.  They said  that more was being done.  A lump in my throat formed. Two retiring teachers  this year,  gave up their retirement gifts and directed the monies to the mission. As if that wasn't enough,  another teacher stated that the school had drafted a letter in honour of these retiring teachers that a donation from the Grapeview community could be made to our mission.  Tears filled my eyes.

Bucket Drumming at Home Hardware

     After dropping these bombs of amazing support they then asked me to pose with students and the cheque for a photo op.  I mustered up the words 'thank you' and 'wow' before I quickly turned away from the crowd and looked at my supportive staff and students and began to sob.  Crying is not a common event for me but has become more a part of how I express myself when God breaks me.  God broke me at that moment as I saw how much capacity of love exists in my school community.  I hugged each staff and student down the line that stood behind me not only during that presentation but in support for the work that was going to happen in Guatemala.  It is a rare moment to feel that loved by so many people at once and know that they too mourn over the unmet needs of others that we care deeply about.

     Needless to say the outpouring of support at Grapeview was an amazing start as we continue to find people to partner with us in the mission.  We pray that our support letters find you well and that you can be a part of a ministry.

Jeremiah 29:11

Rags to Riches

The last few days I have been listening to a series by Craig Groeschel entitled “Perspective”.  I can only think about how timely this is.  There's a place I like to go running.  Along this route, I pass by a shack.  One that looks very familiar to me .  One of many I passed by in Guatemala.  I run this route from time to time to not only remind myself  of the reality for many in developing countries, but to remember that what I have or lack of  for many others does not define who we are.  Our culture has this messed up perspective of what is important.  Sure a job pays the bills, we like our homes comfortable, we like things... but if we flip to Philippians and read about Paul's perspective on life.  : "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  How many of us can take a honest look at our lives and say the same.  I know it's a huge struggle for myself. To be that completely content and filled with joy that the world will never give. Running

  this afternoon on an empty grumbling stomach, while anticipating my 1 1/2 cups of beans and rice for dinner, I can't help but think of the faces I met.  The men, women, and children that work the fields, walk kilometer after kilometer for water and going to school. Participating in this "fast for change" this week is a great discipline....

puts things into perspective....


http://www.lifechurch.tv/watch/perspective/2

Martha or Mary?

I'm a bit of a sucker for romance. You know that fluttery feeling that you get when you watch a great movie, or hear a great song. I get that everytime I see my husband. Whether he is walking into the room or I turn to see him down the next aisle in a store. He just makes me smile and lightens up my life. He has taught me so much on love and selflessness and modelled exceptional leadership skills to our children. As I am writing, he is finishing strong and faithful at our projects this year.

It is a strange feeling coming back leaving behind my better half. I feel like I am missing my right arm some days. Yet despite it all, I can only give our Lord complete and total glory as He has helped us stumble our way through this year. It is only through Him that I had the strength to face each day. Over and over this year I was reminded of the story of Martha and Mary. Luke chapter ten depicts a beautiful reminder of the value Christ puts in relationship. As busy as some days were, and as many “projects” we busied ourselves with, Jesus was calling us to be still and invest in eternal affairs. Loving on His children and sharing life together. At the end of it all, when it was time for me to leave, the girls put on a slide show in recognition of our year. Not one picture was about “projects”. As the tears streamed my cheeks, picture after picture captured all the big and small moments of love and friendship we shared over the year. I wish I could say that it was easy and that I always had an abundance of love to give. Some days were tiring and hard. Funny thing when we invest in our relationship with Christ, He gives us exaclty what we need to pour into the lives of others. Now it is just being disciplined enough to put God first. Sounds silly, doesn't it? For those of you who are christians, it seems obvious. But the distractions and pace of life dictate our fellowship and God gets our last fruits instead of our very best and first.

I hit the ground running, coming home with 3 kids, 2 dogs and a house that is calling out to be unpacked. I am reminded very quickly of the busyness of our culture in the short conversations I have had with various people. But I learned something this year. I learned how to relax, and just be. The Lord picked up my chin and said look around. Stop. Breathe. Take it all in. You are missing out by running around being busy. Coming from a “Martha” attitude, I am learning to be more of a “Mary”. Watching my husband this past year, has taught me much on this.

We are in a time of transition. A time of shutting down to start up here in Canada. Matt is going back to teach at a new location, and I am returning to work. I have been bombarded with questions, that I guess in some ways I'm not ready for. I don't have answers.... at all.  I cringe inside when people assume that this is it and we won't go back. That we wrapped up those years in a box and are just putting them on a shelf. It's not some photo album that will be put away to collect dust. It has become a part of who we are. Whether its forever, only God knows but we do know that missions is something important to our family. Trust me when I say I am scared to death at times. Wondering what else God has up His sleeve. Yet I can rest comfortably knowing that when He calls, He provides. Just the other day I was talking with our oldest son and asked him what he would like to do someday. He confidently told me...”mom, I want to be a missionary”. Even if it is God using this time now to do greater things down the road. Praise God! All I do know is that this is just the beginning to something much bigger than Matt or I.  

Wrapping Up

These past few weeks since we wrote last have been a roller coaster to say the least.  Moving out of our home of ten months in Jalapa, confronting our neighbour/cleaning lady about the theft of about $800 of items (more in particular the back up drive of our computers), saying goodbye to friends and business relationships, closing off projects, researching for future projects, and watching our family split and live apart for a short time to get our lives straightened in Guatemala and Canada.  However, the mission is far from over.

Working with Eddie
to fix up Casa Hogar

Working with the girls to build
community in Los Pinos.

What makes things difficult is seeing the emotional impact that has been made in through our service here.  Watching people like Eddie's family tear up when they think about us leaving  for the long term.  How the girls at Casa Hogar miss the contact of my kids and Mandy and appear heavy hearted.  Francisca (the oldest of our 'adopted' daughters) crying at the mention of the airport.  Seeing my children break into sobs as we pulled away from Casa Hogar for the last time as a complete family unit.

Max and his 'hermana' Darlin

Celebrating our cultures.

Transition is not always an easy thing.  I do look forward to coming back to Canada and live in my home culture close to family, friends and safe community.  There is satisfaction in the thought of working in an environment where I can express myself intelligently and have rich conversations with anybody that is willing to spend the time to do so. Not feeling condemned looks for my appearance, choice of faith practice or assumed wealth that I possess.  However, through this all my heart still burns for a group of people that need a beacon of hope in the name of God to walk with them.

Learning new skills
and having time to play.

Faith is strong here in Guatemala and admittedly our mission is not an evangelical one, but it is one of hope, love and trust.  Guatemalans have taught me to be more faithful in God because in many cases what else do you have other than your faith.  They also have taught me that community and relationship are critically important in getting by and making something of ourselves.
My prayer today is to continue to have strength in getting the message out about the needs in Guatemala and to have my community back in Canada walk patiently in faith that an impact can be made in serving the poor and neglected in the name of Christ. With a deep love to serve as Christ served, Amen.

Partnering with other missionaries
to help those in need.

Growing Pains

I can feel my heart breaking a little more and more each day.  It was just over a week ago I was sitting on our roof with Matt, sharing frustrations, doubts and fears and now I find myself in that very same spot on the roof expressing gratitude, joy and peace.   My emotions are a little whacked these days.  Just the other day, one of the girls in my swimming class excitedly called me mommy by accident.  Two little girls squealed in delight as they splashed about in the make shift bath this afternoon.  When I told them it was time to leave, they didn't want to go.  Heart break.  I spent some time talking with a new girl at Casa Hogar the other day.  She is 18 and there because her family tried to murder her.  She has a 3 year old boy and is unsure if her grandfather or cousin is the father.  Story after story brakes my heart in two.
When I was about 12 years old, often at night when I was laying in bed I would get these shooting pains down the back of my legs.  My mom confidently told me they were just growing pains.  I thought that if this is what it feels like, I don't want to grow up.  They hurt and were very uncomfortable.   This whole year I have experienced many growing pains.  Times of heart ache and times of feeling very uncomfortable.  I have been asked to do things I know I am not good at nor enjoy.  Some days feel very mundane, while others feel exciting and are jam packed with learning.

 It's crazy how time slips away and we spend so much of it preparing for the next thing.  I have spent much of this year just being. Something that doesn't come easily and without a lot of practice.  God has called us to be in relationship with Him first and that love He pours into our lives will pour into the lives of others.  As much as it will be hard to leave this place for now, I know that the growing pains I have felt, have only made my life richer.

getting ready to celebrate Darlin's 15th B-day

Painting nails with girls after swimming lessons

Busy and Loving It!!!!

I have to admit I was embarrassed to see that we haven't posted in a while.  However, any feeling of guilt has been drowned out by the fact of pure excitement of our current progress.  Since our last post we have been getting the last of our projects started and summed up before coming back to Canada.  This has been a bitter-sweet feeling knowing that we are going back to our cultural home, biological families, familiar church community and friends, in lieu of being with many new friends and adoptive family that have many different felt needs that many of us don't struggle with back in Canada.  However, I will digress a bit, more because I don't want to get my keyboard wet with tears, and focus on some of the ways that your support has been helping the mission here in Los Pinos.

And the teacher said 'Let there
be less light, so my students can
learn.'

To start we have been working with a group from the United States that has been paying for an English teacher at Casa Hogar that we found for this group.  We lent the video projector that was given to us by a friend back in St. Kitts to use for the class.  Unfortunately, the projector was not strong enough to project an image in a lit room.  This brought on the curtain project, where our wonderful girl Francisca went to task and sewed together the curtains and as of today, the curtains will be up in two classrooms for the English teacher, computer teacher, and any other group that comes to make presentations (and let's not forget movie days on the weekend --- fun!).

Eddie's new home.  Great perspective of his current home (the tin
hut) in the background to the home he will move into in August.

While this was going on we started building Eddie's house.  (If you didn't see Eddie's living conditions before you can check it out at this link: Eddie's House Tour ) The past couple of weeks we have dug out the foundation and started to make the rebar columns.  Today the cement is being made and poured into the footings.  Our goal is to have the house finished before Mandy and the kids leave.  The house will consist of two bedrooms a large living/dining room, a shower, toilet and the capacity to build a second floor for future expansion (if needed).  So invigorating to drive by the construction on the way to Casa Hogar and see the changes everyday!

Hoping to see this image at Casa Hogar in a year's time.

In the meantime as well we have been digging holes in a vacant field at Casa Hogar getting it ready for banana trees.  The plans allow for 180+ trees in the area with each tree having the potential of producing 200+ lbs of bananas.  It has been fun watching the backhoe prep the land, the labourers digging holes, and the people from Los Pinos bring in organic soil on horseback in getting this project done.  The project hopefully will be done in another two weeks and in a years time having bananas ready to be harvested.

Eddie with his extension cord.
I think it is time for some new ends

Aside from these bigger projects, we are still plugging away at hygiene protocols and creating health histories for the girls, fixing up the salon classroom for Mandy, working on improving the internet capacity for the computer lab at Casa Hogar, cleaning up storage spaces, and getting supplies together to help Eddie better maintain Casa Hogar.

All in all it has been amazing to see the generosity of people pour out and get involved with the projects that we are pulling together.  God has been an incredible strength through this process and saying goodbye will be a difficult thing to do as we return home.  Yeah that line did it for me, now I'm crying. It is not the sadness of the situation but of the abundant joy that God provides in getting the glimpse of what He desires for us to do to fulfill His purpose.....to love your neighbour as yourself.  I praise God for this time and sincerely thank-you for believing in this mission.

Yours in Christ,




Matt

Thinking of you.