It was never intended to be this way.

I studied biology in university and learned of how we have natural cycles of various sizes.  One example is oxygen and glucose entering the cell and activating a cyclical chemical reaction that produces carbon dioxide, which in turn is taken by plants to produce glucose and oxygen.  Or, how we consume food and eliminate the remainder which in turn returns to the earth to bring nutrient once again to grow more food.  These are just two of a slue of other natural cycles that exist, but they show how our understanding of life is: be what you are-> change into something else -> cycle back to the original.

To say that God didn't intend death to occur would be difficult for me to accept because He made so many beautiful systems and cycles to take care of all of what is needed to be recycled.  However, God did set us aside from all of His creation as something unique that could be in eternal relationship with Him.  We were given a special pass from the rest to become supernatural beings with a soul.  My brain rattles a bit around these questions: 'If we were built to live forever, were we even a living biological being or just a spirit in physical form?  Was God in the same form as Adam and Eve when walking in the Garden of the Eden?  Did this change once sin came in the world and we anchored our soul to a now mortal physical form?  Am I just a little nuts and only ponder about this after gluing my kids project together?'

Regardless of all of these thoughts, it is important to realize that we were made different and do live for eternity in a spiritual realm.  It is also important to note that sin separated us from God and that to have eternal life with Him only comes when we accept Him as our saviour and Lord over our lives.  Our experience with death is complicated.  As Christians we admit to an afterlife but do we believe in it?  And if you do believe in it,  how might you live differently knowing that this here is the short run?  Why is it so painful to experience the death of a loved one when you know they are in eternal paradise?

Shortly after the death of my Grandma Wilson we attended
a funeral of my friend's grandmother.  It was a good time to
mourn both their deaths as I wept in the graveyard of Jalapa
with the multitude of others that were equally pained with
the result that sin produces.

Personally I have experienced the death of both of my grandmothers while working here in Guatemala.  On both occasions I was relieved to know that my grandmothers were right with Christ and that they are blessed to be living an amazing life in glory.  However, this never lifted the burden of my sorrow that they are now separated from me.  Maybe I'm selfish, but I loved having my grandmothers here, learning about our family origins, and bonding with someone that really cared for me and my interests too.  I know I'm not unique with this feeling.  Even Jesus Himself cried in anger at the death of His friend.  I remember our pastor in Canada speaking that even though Jesus had the power to raise the dead He still wept because we were not intended to exist this way.  That when sin entered the world we created a divide between us and God.  Thankfully for Christ He bridged that gap for us and we can be in relationship with Him again.

I urge readers of this blog to seek out a relationship with God and carry out a life with Him.  If you need help in what to do next, please don't hesitate to message Mandy or myself, or contact a local church and get connected.  If hell is the complete separation of us from God, we unfortunately get a small taste of it when someone dies.  I know my grandmothers are in a better place.  I will continue to strive to live for Christ and someday I will get to see my grandparents and other loved ones that continue to follow Christ.  But until then, I am left with the reminder that sin isolates us and breaks up the original intended plan God had for our lives.

The Unpleasant Blessing of Understanding Christ

For those who follow our blog and journey within missions in Jalapa, know that there have been many trials.  I wouldn't deny the fact that we have been under spiritual attack since we started in November 2013.  Wave upon wave of attacks.  We have endured crushing blows that feel unbearable.   Although feeling at times like we were cast in a pit of despair   we have managed to climb out and learned how to take blows and press forward in the name of Jesus. 

Through each attack we have learned to lean on Christ and His community.  When times are tough we turn to people to pray for us and gain a better understanding of how to live through it.   Coming to God in utter dependency during these times has taught us humility that we can't always fix problems (not temptations - those we can handle) but that we need to leave that to Him. 

Satan really does have an impressive arsenal in which he lays his attacks.  He can twist people's perceptions so they can be the weapon for his war.  The damage that is doled out is so diabolical that not only does it hurt the victim but the attacker as well.  Furthermore, the damage dealt can transform the victim to be the attacker and for the attacker to become a bigger and better weapon to inflict more pain.  Like a virus, sin grows and infects its host.  Those who want to be a beacon for God's kingdom are a prime target.

Here in Guatemala we see the sin of 'survive at all cost'.  Many people here live difficult lives and really struggle to get by.  Theft of food, money, things, and even people to be trafficked or enslaved occur so a family can have enough resources to 'live a better life'.  Even when aid is given it isn't enough and they wait and demand for more.  Investing in some people here can be difficult because they have let this entitled attitude to fester in their soul.  These takers become frustrated when you don't dole out cash or food, because advice (spiritual, personal, relational or financial) carries little value.  Sometimes I feel that the expression, 'You can feed a man to fish and he will eat for a day, but if you teach him to fish he will eat for a lifetime.' should have included 'However some people just want to be fed and could care less to have a net or pole because there is plenty of fish in the sea and there are others willing to fish.' 
 
This is our latest battle that we are experiencing in the transition program.  It may be hard to believe that kids rescued from bad situations and raised in loving support would turn on those who helped them.  Unfortunately it is a common story and one that hurts a lot.  Through our past pains I have learned not to worry about it but to give it to God (Matthew 6: 25-34 - Thanks pastor Steve).  To find the blessing in the struggle is become more like Christ.  We can recognize the pain is of this world and its problems but the goodness of God's provision and strength is what gets us to our end game in glory.  Even though my hair is getting whiter by the second, my body is falling into fatigue, and my hands tremble from the stress of life, I can appreciate the thorn that is in my side (2 Corinthians 12: 5-10) because it forces me to be dependent on Him to fight the infection of sin.