Finding Peace

Good looking bunch of guys ready to be stretched by God.

Yesterday I went out with a group from Langley, BC to drop off food baskets to widows and the elderly who cannot provide enough sustenance for themselves and their families.  We drove through the streets of Monjas searching for adobe huts and corrugated steel shanties mixed amongst new building developments.  The contrast of those who have and those who don't couldn't be more apparent.

We crouched into a home that was only tall enough for the people inside.  Others were ample in interior space but were as dark as night inside with a veil of smoke lingering in the air due to a lack of windows and ventilation.  The only light that entered inside was the opening of the rickety door or a single light bulb shining through a sooty cob webbed film in the centre of the room.  Where the light managed to touch these people's home, unveiled a hard life where scavenging and improvised use of materials is a necessity to survive.  Our group of Canadians entered each place in a sober manner.  All of us stood quiet listening to the translator but I'm not sure how much was being absorbed. It wasn't that we were exhausted or insensitive, but we couldn't help but feel the burden being put on our shoulders like a lead apron as we entered these places. Thoughts race through my mind like: 'How is this possible?' 'TV telethons have not done this justice.' 'God where is the church supporting these people?' 'I have been abundantly blessed.' 'I feel dirty being here.' 'How do these people stay safe?'

One house in particular stood out for me from the rest.  As we pulled up to the adobe home a tiny elderly woman that looked like she was in her 90s but was actually in her 70s gave us a weathered leathery grin and held out her droopy wrinkled arms to embrace our leader.  After we huddled into her home, she positioned us in front of her 50 year old daughter's bed.  While we stood there the sheets began to rustle and her daughter began to emerge from below.  To our shock her daughter was half naked and exposed to all of us in the room.  With a complete disregard to our presence, the exposed daughter tugged at the bottom of her mom's apron.  Feelings of discomfort were easily seen on the faces across the room as the mother in a loving frustration grabbed a shirt and dressed her naked adult child.  We now had learned that her daughter was born with a severe mental disability and would never achieve independence from the home.  Upon turning around from dressing her girl she thanked us for bringing food and supplies because it is hard to make a living when she is constantly taking care of her daughter.  She continued on to say that she wanted God to take her child from her before she dies.  The thought of her dying before her daughter is too painful to bare knowing that there isn't anyone to take care of her precious daughter.

Just an example of what conditions people live in while being
surrounded by new housing development.

I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but I was mad, frustrated, and crushed.  This woman's biggest prayer request was to have peace through the painful loss of a child.  If anyone deserved to have peace it was this woman and the sacrificial hell that she has lived to make ends meet for her and her daughter for fifty plus years.  But that was what crushed me, she deserved a better life.  She could have walked away from the responsibility of her daughter and received no consequence in this corrupt nation, but she didn't because she dutifully served her daughter out of her reverence to God and His provision.  I truly believe that she knows we are not worthy of God's grace and that she is thankful to her Creator which is why she still found joy even in her circumstance.  The idea of deserving something probably doesn't exist for her as she seeks contentment in the little she does have.

We prayed for her and left her home keeping the weight of the burden as to what we saw.  The group from Canada was obviously shaken up.  Pausing outside of the door I teared up and became laboured in my breathing.  I had only shared about 10 minutes of my life with this woman but I was in turmoil from seeing the broken pieces of her life and the glory from God she was reflecting.  At times I stress over all sorts of tiny things, and here was this woman praising God for His abundant provision.  To be honest, I actually held a sort of envy for what this woman had.  She received something that many of us probably never will get to know, which is a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6,7).

It is hard walking away from situations like that and not feeling defeated.  I have no doubt that everyone in our group wanted to fix her problem, but the reality is we already have been given our due share to manage and our best was to love, pray and offer a bit of aid in a moment of obvious need.  The act of compassion gives us the opportunity to be in communion with their pain and respond in a way to support their misfortunes. What my family and I experience and see on a day to day basis is something we want to share with others.  To have the opportunity to gain a different perspective where people can find peace in dire circumstance is life changing.  To be compassionate to people struggling to survive and seeing them find the peace that God provides is truly one of the most humbling experiences a person can go through.  My hope for all of you is to experience and see God's peace and light in those dark places.

Peace,

Matt

What's not to like?

Gettting to know people.

Small farm in the yard.

It is funny for us when we say that we are living in Guatemala and how many people back home wince  at the idea of it.  However, there is so much that is awesome down here that it seems to me that we are getting more of the benefit of living here than what people can imagine.

What I like about living in Guatemala is that:

Crowding around a small TV
 to watch the World Cup

-you can buy items directly from the truck and cut out the middle man
-the climate is permanently spring and summer
-a 500mL bottle of name brand pop is 65 cents and no name is 40 cents at the corner store
-they deliver water bottles and propane tanks to your door and take away the empties
-you can have a small farm in your backyard in the city
-despite how small the prisons are you are able to interact with people walking by in the street to keep a sense of what is going on in the world and socialize with people outside of the prison walls
-car insurance is only $140 a year
-cell phones are cheaper and more reliable than a landline
-taking a taxi across town is only 32 cents

Campfire in the driveway,
followed by fireworks.

-fresh fruit and vegetables are always in season and you can load up for the week for your family for about $13
-people value the relationship more than the business
-even though people are poor they band together to try and help one another out of their poverty
-resourcefulness carries you far and little is wasted
-biological processes and fluids within animals are not completely gross but a part of life and not feared and pointed and gawked at strangely
-people understand that personal space is not necessary in the short run while trying to travel
-going to the gas station means that they will check your tire pressure and wash your windows as well
-the market is every day of the week and loaded with new items every visit

Clowning around.

-there is a corner store at every corner (and in between too) where you can get all of your basics
-bakeries are all over the place and give a pleasant odour to the air
-rent for a beautiful four bedroom home is $300 a month
-people that lived in the United States want to speak English with you
-you can walk up to someone's house and buy fresh hot tortillas for 4 cents each
-when you go to leave people stop what they are doing and make sure they give a hug and/or kiss followed by a blessing
-the expectation for an house party or get together is very casual and everyone in attendance contributes  with food and bringing their own seat

Getting ready to do traditional dance.

-when someone passes away they close off the street to let the family and friends mourn in silence
-your car horn is a communication device in the positive regard to show gratitude or that you are passing by
-kids go to school in uniform
-a section of the police department only monitors the highways not to only enforce traffic laws but more to serve those citizens that break down at the side of the road to keep all drivers safe
-they have fireworks to celebrate every occasion and it doesn't matter what time of the day it is
-there is no hot water tank but heated on demand with little waste heat
-entertainment is found in being with people and seeing their talents

Taxi or horse?
The horse might get you
there in these roads.

and most of all.

I like Guatemala because it gives our family the opportunity to do His work through the support of our network of friends back in Canada and the United States for the benefit of the the girls that we love so dearly.

Getting tortillas from the neighbours.

Faithfulness

This past month has been a roller coaster of emotion, and I feel exhausted.  We had a busy holiday, visiting local friends, hanging out at the orphanage and having meetings on end to plan out this next school year.   Matt has been busy meeting with other organizations co-ordinating a plan for the facility.  After visiting three local schools, we narrowed it down to a private spanish school located about 4km outside Jalapa.  The kids will be bussed in at 7am and will be dropped off in front of our house at 1pm.  The only downfall of this school is that it is JK-GR 4.  We talked with Max about this and he struggled with the idea of going into grade 4 again.  We felt that this school had the best education and programming, and we explained to Max that it was really important for him to learn the language and we would focus on grade 5 math and english at home.  After taking a trip to all the schools with the kids, he agreed with our decision. The kids are starting school on Monday and are a little nervous. If you think of them please pray for this difficult transition.

getting a little silly at "House and Green"

As the kids are transitioning into a new schedule, so are Matt and I.  We will be spending more time working at Casa Hogar.  I am running three afternoon programs with the nuns, and three morning classes teaching hairstyling to the girls.  Aside from working at Casa Hogar, I am currently working on translating some curriculum for running a weekly bible study at the women's prison.  Matt will be running a tutoring program as well as meeting with the head nun regarding budgeting and planning.

We have been in touch with a group from Guatemala city, who have been bringing aid to Casa Hogar by means of food and other consumables.  With their expertise and knowledge, they are helping us research the best quality paint for the renovations we will be making on the kitchen.  Mother Claudia created a wish list for items so Matt and I spent some time researching good quality, industrial kitchen ware, in Guatemala city.

A few short weeks ago we said goodbye to our dear friend Kait.  Little did we know the adventure she would be on, upon arriving home.  God was up to something....big!  Sitting on the rooftop, sipping coffee, allowed  time for Kait and I to share about what God has been up to in our lives. We spent a lot of time talking and following a daily devotional.  It was a time when I really needed a friend to share my thoughts, frustrations and fears. It was a time of reflection on what amazing things God has done.  Just a few days before Kait left, she approached me with some more of her thoughts.  She was processing a lot and was thinking of coming back.  And after a lot of prayer and patience, God opened doors for Kait to join the ministry here in Guatemala for the next three months.  I think at one point Kait skyped with us and told  us it would really take a miracle for this to happen.  Once the decision was made, God opened door after door  just like He did for us not too long ago.  I really encourage you to check out her story at  Should I Stay, Or Should I Go?  Needless to say, we were thrilled!  We welcomed Kait back this past week and love having the extra company!  It will be a full house for the next little while as Matt's parents arrive in a week.  There is a lighter mood in the kids and I know that they welcome friends and family from back home.  It is an amazing feeling being able to share what we are so passionate about and for people to come and see for themselves.

Making 250 oliebollen

There are times I look around and question so much and wonder why.....and there are many days I feel like I am spinning my wheels.  There are so many more times of feeling frustrated  but all it takes is one good moment.... a hug from one of the girls, a conversation, helping someone, and it goes away just like that.  One of those moments happened just yesterday.  It is not uncommon for people to come to our door and ask for money.  We have been very careful not to just hand out money to anyone, for many reasons.  This past week, as I was doing my devotions, I felt the Lord speak to my spirit.  He asked me that when the next person came needing money that I was suppose to give.  That was it...just give.  So sure enough, a man came knocking and was looking for money. Matt went out to talk to him. His baby boy needed a shunt in his head and he had documentation from a doctor as evidence.  Without my knowing, Matt gave what he felt he should.  I later shared what I felt God was impressing on my heart.  Sometimes walking in obedience doesn't make sense to us.  Sometimes we don't always understand or agree on the things that are needed.  I knew what God had asked me and without knowing, Matt gave.  Praise God!

Oliebollen

Girls helping make the New Year Eve treats!

A Real Gift!

I feel like I have been out of touch for awhile.  So much to catch up on that I feel my mind is spinning.  We welcomed our friend Kait last Monday.  Her visit is very timely.  Leading up to her arrival, I was feeling really down and missing family and friends back home.  With the holiday season and family gatherings, I felt a little homesick.  Having a familiar face and someone to share our life with here has been really encouraging and  a breath of fresh air.
We carried out a tradition we started last year with the help of Kait.  Last night we prepared a dinner for the nuns of Casa Hogar.  Going to buy all the supplies was a chore in itself.  It's not like going to the Super Store and picking up everything at once.  The nuns giggled with delight as the boys escorted them  to their seat.  It was so awesome serving them as they chatted over a candle lit dinner.  We shared with them after how we respect what they do and how we appreciate the life they are dedicating to serving the girls.
Kait and I spent an afternoon with the nuns making angels and snowflakes and decorated the cafeteria.  It always amazes me how the simple things can bring so much joy.
It's not all work and no play when we have special visitors.  Along with other missionary friends, we went to "Pino Dulce" (means Sweet Pines) for a hike through the mountains and picnic lunch.  We hoped the fog would clear so we could experience the  view while we zip-lined.  We literally were up among the clouds.  It was AWESOME!!!!!! I felt silly that I was more afraid than my six year old daughter.  God has given her a free spirit and one of no fear.
On  our way home  we stopped in at a local friend who lives with his entire family up in the mountains.  They generously invited us into their home that consisted of not much more than a few plastic stools and a table.  In the corner stood a small plastic christmas tree.  It was so cute how proud of it they were after they plugged it in.  That experience was hard for me.  I looked around and tried not to look utterly shocked at the way people live.  Dirt floors, big open gaps near the roof, mud and brick walls,  chickens running in and out......With the nights being especially cold this time of year, I couldn't imagine how they keep warm.  This christmas season has been a very unique experience.  I know we talk a lot about having too much and cutting back on spending, but how much changes for us.  For Matt and I, this has become a reality this year.  Trust me, I often think back on what I would be doing back home now.  Probably would have filled my freezer with so many baked goods, I wouldn't know what to do with.  My house would have been all decked out for christmas, and I would have  joined the commercial rat race of finding all those gifts. If you ask me if I am missing out on things, I would have to say absolutely not.  I am finding joy in the little ( yet very big things for us)  Going back to Emmanuel's family, I would have to say the same.  They have each other.  Nothing fancy....just simple.  Really if we reflect on how Christ entered this world, it was simple.  Jesus' whole ministry was about investing in people, not things.   We visited with this family that afternoon and had the privilege of spending time getting to know them.  During our visit, they offered us coffee that they grow on their property,  and then sent us on our way with bananas and a chicken.  Here is a family who has so little yet so much to give.  They wanted to bless us.

Sometimes it's hard to receive a gift like that.  We were humbled and thankful.  Speaking of being humbled and blessed, our paster surprised us and took us out to a ranch for lunch and later on to his farm to cut a tree down.  I had mentioned how I have always wanted to cut down a christmas tree.  Apparently this is a HUGE deal in Guatemala and they have laws against cutting trees down.  In order to cut one down you need a special permit, which of course cost money.  Last Saturday, Paster Ed and his family took us out to visit his father's  farm in the mountains.  It was AMAZING!   We hiked out to find the perfect tree.  All I have to say is that it looked a lot smaller on the side of that mountain.  We came home and still had some trimming to do.  Again, words could not describe my joy and thankfulness.  I always have a hard time excepting gifts....I sometimes feel like I owe or need to repay the favour.  God's gift to us comes with no strings attached.  We didn't earn His love and nothing we can do or don't do will make Him love us less.  And I guess in a way that is a gift I can pass on this christmas.  The gift of Jesus' love!

Can Missionaries Have Fun?

This is a question I struggled with leading up to and even being here.  I feel sometimes guilty that I have such a great opportunity to be here.  Not with having fun in our mission but outside of it.  It does come with its many struggles though.  I think God provides  fun times  as a gift to refresh us and keep us going.

At the visa office

My husband and boys just called me from the top of a volcano.....how cool is that?  I was planning on joining them but unfortunately we had no one to watch Mercedes.  The hike would have been too much for her.   We decided to have a girls day, so we sat on the roof top in the sun having "coffee" together and then did nails.  She is growing up so fast and I am taking in every minute of this time together.

This week has been interesting to say the least.  We have had some major break throughs, scares, frustrations and fun.  Matt had a major meeting with another organization and was able to make some significant contacts.  I will let him share that another day.  We drove to Guatemala city on our own for the first time and I have to say, I am VERY proud of Matt.  He did great.  Despite the failure of our GPS, we managed to find our way around.  Our purpose was to take Fransisca to apply for a visa and visit another missionary couple  to see what they were doing. We arrived in the city at 8 am and took Fransisca and Sister Wanita to Mc Donalds for breakfast.  They had never been before!  It amazes me how we take so much  for granted.  Another first for them was riding the escalator at the visa office.  It was actually quite hilarious watching Fransisca try to get on and off.

At the mall

After spending 4 hrs in what should have only taken at most 2, we walked a short two blocks over to the mall with the girls.  It was very beautifully decorated for christmas and I felt like a kid full of excitement walking in.   We took Fransisca in to buy a pair of jeans.  Can you imagine, being 21 years old and having the opportunity for the first time to go into a change room at a mall and try on different clothes?  It was a privilege for us to see such joy on her face.  We didn't realize the time and had only 20 mins to get the girls to a bus stop in a city that we didn't know.  It was some crazy driving, but we managed to find a street that the bus was passing and would stop to pick up the girls.

Bathrooms built by Mano con Mano

Girls waiting in line to their drinks

We made our way to visit Gerry and Barb Normand ( friends we met at C-TEN orientation in Texas back in June)  After a great sleep ( in a queen size bed...can you hear my excitement:), we accompanied Barb and Gerry to el Yalu, a village up in the mountains.  I brought my scissors to offer Barb and Gerry haircuts.  ( I usually bring them every where I go)  They were thrilled.  They asked if I would be interested in cutting some of the boys hair in the village.  I was thrilled.  Barb graciously lent me one of her guatemalan skirts so I wouldn't insult or offend by wearing my jeans.  I wonder what they thought of my red hair and piercing?  We spent some time taking a walking tour and learning about some of the history of the village.  As I walked through the village, my heart felt heavy and I could sense the  oppression.  We passed homes ( if you want to call  it that) with absolutely nothing.  Dirt floors and no furniture.  I can't imagine how these families stay warm at night.  There has been frost a few times already.  Most  of these families may only own one set of clothing and are lucky to have shoes.  The organization  Mano con Mano, started building bathrooms and stoves as a part of their mission.  We were invited to a ladies home to see her kitchen and new stove.  It was an honour.  We helped serve lunch as part of their feeding program.   Max handed out vitamins and Gabe served Atol. ( a corn based warm drink)  Matt helped with the homework club and him and Gabe sorted pre-natal vitamins.   The Normand's invited us to stay on an extra night so they could watch  our kids and give us a much needed break.  I was so happy I almost cried.  Matt and I have not had time alone since August.  God provided an opportunity and we accepted.  My high was sitting in a cafe sipping hot chocolate and listening to U2.
The next morning, we braved the drive back through Gautemala city and homeward bound.  On our way to the Walmart, we missed our turn and ended up heading down another highway.  We were driving along, looking to get off at the next exit, when a pick up truck from the oncoming lane jumped the curb and crossed three lanes of traffic.  We witnessed a crazy car chase and the police pulled out a gun and started shooting at the truck.  It was 10:30 am and people were walking the side walks.  Matt held back traffic and we got off the road as soon as we could.  It was crazy to see and is a reminder that anything can happen and we need prayer huge!  God is so good.  We were so lost and almost afraid to ask for help, but found a guy who let us follow him to the road that led us back to Walmart.  I was praying the whole way that this guy wasn't leading us to some dead end.

We got to Walmart and I am embarrassed to say that I have never in my life been so excited to walk into that store.  We picked up a few things that we cannot get in Jalapa. (relish, peanut butter, and gingerale)

I am thankful and know that God has us in His grip. Thank you for your continued pray and support.