Unconventional Missionary

Having the time to sit and write has been weighing in on me for quite some time now.  I just realized it has been a month since my last post.  I have attempted to write a couple times and the words left me as soon as I started to type.   My cup feels empty with only a few remainder drops left.  I have had no time for myself and relunctantly God has been getting my last bits of time at the end of a very exhausting day.  I thought that maybe if I start my day with Him things would  better.  I struggle to stay awake during my early morning prayer and often roll out of bed to the demanding noise and clutter of the day.   I think you can relate. We have all been there.  Burnout is lingering around the next corner and I need to pull out all stops.  


If someone told me a few years ago that I would one day be a "missionary"serving in Guatemala, I would have laughed and thought..."ya, right"!  I pictured french braided hair and long denim skirts.  If that were the case I would be the worst missionary ever!  I struggle with not doing enough, being enough, making enough, having enough. I know in my heart that just being should be enough but the world screams otherwise.   I look around and there are so many insurmountable needs I can't possibly address or "fix" them all but I know I can start by helping where I can one at a time.  

We are currently looking to re-locate our safe house.  The house is full and we are at our max.  Water access is only available for short segments very early in the morning and at night.  You can imagine this makes cleaning and hygiene an issue for a house full of 16 people.   Reasonable rent is hard to come by here in Jalapa especially for us "gringos".  With the help of local friends, we are continually looking.   The cost of a rental that was suitable was exceeding our current budget and so I prayed a bold prayer that God would make up the difference.  In asking God, with faith we can be sure He can move any mountain.  My faith seemingly has felt defeated.  I struggle with not becoming the mission.  It's easy to make things about ourselves, isn't it?  Sometimes it is just easier doing than asking.  My knees have found the floor many times in the last couple of weeks.  I put out a request on Facebook for prayer over our housing situation.  I was blown away.  God worked through the heart of a donor who had money waiting to be used.  We can now look for a house with a potential yard for the kids to play in and clean water.

With eight kids in the house, there isn't a lot of  quiet time.  Not to mention Guatemalans LOVE loud noise.  I find my head spinning and just want to turn down the volume some days.  Matt and I were blessed with a day away thanks to Nana and Papa holding down the fort.  I loved walking hand in hand without competing with the girls, for my husbands grip.  We were able to sit and enjoy a meal from start to finish without any interruptions.  Coming from a family of five kids, the hustle and bustle of a busy house is not foreign and I do love it.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I wake up everyday to a beautiful family that only God could bring together.  The mission field is where ever you are.  It's a lifestyle.  Everyday is different.  Some days, my expectations are way to high as far as what I want to accomplish.  Then I have to remind myself that we are doing life here.  Whether its stopping to chat with our neighbour or having a conversation about faith with the store owner next door on a egg and water run.  We are just ordinary people being used by an extraordinary God!