missionary..what does that mean to you?

Every now and then, I read a really inspirational book, watch a revolutionary film, listen to a innovative speaker (on TED talks) or listen to a spiritually rich message.  I feel overwhelmed with concepts; the power that words can hold.  It can grip us and stir up emotions. Sometimes they are feelings of hope joy, love; sometimes anger, despair and sadness. I often come away feeling fired up to see change, and wanting to make a difference.  But how often do those thoughts last only moments before we either feel overwhelmed and unaware of where to start, or just too busy to really care.  I find I'm "pinching" myself these days.  I have been called to an exceptional ride to say the least.  I have felt honoured and humbled by this role of a missionary.  I would never have dreamt this in a million years.  To hear someone refer to me as a missionary sounds absurd.  My proud momma introduced me as her daughter the missionary to everyone on the street last week while I was in town visiting.  I felt a little embarrassed, not at the joy and excitement that poured out of my mothers conversations, but more out of  a sense of inadequacy.

I intended on sitting down before my trip back home to write and catch up.  Unfortunately, time got away on me and I before I knew it, I was on a plane back to Canada.  During the last couple weeks away, I feel like I have had some time to process things and again see the work of our great and awesome God.  Things I want to share with you.  The time spent back home was a time of filling up,  being loved and cared for by family and friends.  I learned again some things about myself from being here in Guatemala.  Things I want to continue and pursue when I do go back.  I often get asked, "What is it that you have learned the most?"  For me this is a loaded question.  I have learned a lot to say the least. I have learned how people come together and care, I have learned that a 2pm meeting is more like a 3pm start, I have learned that there are many layers to helping and it isn't as simple as one may think, I have learned to get over my fear of cockroaches and lice, I have learned that I actually love writing, I have learned that I was living WAY to selfishly in Canada, and most of all I have learned that God wants us to be in relationship with Him and when we are willing, He wants to show us great and mighty things.  I can't help but get a little emotional as I am sitting here blogging away.  The idea of even venturing out on this path seemed daunting a year and a half ago.  It seemed scary and impossible.  I remember the beginning days here and how dark they felt.  We were, and still are trying to find our way in ministry.  

I teach a bible class to a group of teenage girls once a week.  I handed out spanish new testament bibles and a work book.  The very first class I asked the girls if they had ever owned a bible. No hands went up. I had a hunch what the answer would be to my second question.  "Do you ever read the bible?"  Again no hands went up.  I explained to them that the Word is like food to our bodies.  If we want to grow, we need to study.    In class yesterday, one of the questions talked about opposition we face when we tell non christians about Christ.  I explained that when we share  God's Word with others we are planting seeds in the hearts of those who will hear.  Sometimes we may never see that seed grow, mature and bare fruit but our job in planting that seed is crucial.  The rest is up to God.  It is His work He does in us and through us.  Nothing is by accident.  Last night, God affirmed this in the book I am reading, "Follow me to Freedom".  (It's a book co-written by John Perkins and Shane Claiborne)  I need to share this with you.  John explains, " When God blesses, the blessing is not stagnant: it moves and multiplies.  The idea is to plant a seed, then water it and grow it-and then give it to the next generation.  The blessing is not for one person (it is not just for you or me alone).  Rather, it was given to Abraham and is now given to us so that we might be a blessing to others. That's the real purpose of ministry."  I dug around in the book of Genesis for a bit this morning.  Just thinking about the story of Abraham and the promises God spoke of.  Promises of something better, something more.....blessings.   How often do we hold on to things so tightly and don't want to let go.  What are you willing to forego, deny or give up to experience the promises and blessings God has for your life? 

Coming back to the idea of a missionary.  We know there are people that donate items, finances, support, and prayer for different ministries.  But did you know, when you plant seeds and share God and His word with people, (even in your own community) you ARE a missionary?  God spoke these words to me a couple years ago. I keep them tucked away and find myself repeating them more often than not.  He said, Mandy, do the best you can, with what you have. And so I want to be the best that God intended for me to be.